The three senior women, yes, I said senior, were on either side of my locker. Normally, when conversations like this happen with people of older generations, I let it go. They come from a different era and are set in their ways, so why should I engage in a dialogue with them about race? But this time was different. The problem is it's stereotypical of me to think this way and today the conversation represented a universal misuse of dialogue that poisons humanity and creates division. Laughing at the expense of others for something they cannot change or makes them diverse is not okay. Here's how the rest of the story went:
Me: (calmly) I'm sorry, but I find this conversation offensive.
An instant uproar ensued:
OH!! WHAT?! OFFENSIVE? WHY SHOULD YOU BE OFFENDED?
We weren't talking about YOU... it was someone on the t.v.. HAVE YOU SEEN HER HAIR?
A few heads have now turned in the dressing room.
Me: (still calm) Don't be offended because YOU offended ME. It doesn't matter if the person was on television or not, they're still a human being that doesn't need to be talked about like that and what you said is something black people hear a lot... I've heard it many times and it's offensive.
Lady #1: Yeah but... HAVE YOU SEEN HER HAIR??? No one looks normal with hair like that. It's like a round ball around her head and it bounces when she walks.
Me: (I think I may have used my yoga voice) Actually, in many black cultures hair like that is very normal.
Lady #2: Well, we weren't just talking about black people. Before that we were talking about a white guy who was wearing makeup.
Me: The problem is you're talking about people and maybe you should be a little more sensitive to how it affects them.
Silence. Two ladies leave.
The one right next to my locker is left and both of us pack our bags. I was busy breathing and mindfully putting my stuff inside my bag. Shaking inside, I was fighting the urge to stuff everything in and storm out. I forced myself to stand in the discomfort and be present. The Force was with me. I carefully closed my locker, turned to face the woman beside me and said:
"Have a nice day" (That time I really did use my yoga voice) We locked eyes. I sent her love vibes, she sent me daggers and wished me a good day as well and we parted ways.
I think there was some food for thought dished onto their plates today. One mindful conversation at a time we will change the world. I think I'll end it with the Ignite talk I did several years ago on the topic of race. It just seems appropriate today.
