Didn't Anyone Tell You About the Closet?

When I first met my husband, 15 years ago, I told him back then that as long as he was with me, he would never love the same person twice. Even as a 21 year old, I had consciously planned to evolve for the rest of my life, which meant my husband has grown accustomed to trying new things and observing me challenging myself in mind, body and soul.

Just last week, we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. At times, I didn't know if celebrating a decade of marriage would be a reality for us. Every marriage goes through it and from what I can see, it's a perfectly natural and good thing.

My husband and I met when we were 15 years younger. Our priorities were very different and we were without children. Fast forward to our current place on the timeline and neither one of us is remotely the same person we were back then, regardless if we were 'evolving consciously' or not. Yet, the sticky web of dynamics attempts to pull us into ways of interacting and Being that no longer serves us... and so the bumpy ride begins. If only a voice had said, "Hold on tight because this is the first ditch you vowed to dig yourselves out of when you said 'for better or for worse'".

I can understand how so many marriages dissolve or how affairs happen because let me tell you, that ditch is bleak. But in our case, after we took a closer look we found we weren't in a ditch at all. Rather, we were in our matrimonial closet of blames, hurts and ideals; all we had to do was open the door and clean the mess up. A lot had to go, but some treasures just needed to be dusted off and put to good use again. It took a few years, some emotional oscillating, new boundary setting, open and raw discussions and at last, fresh eyes to see each other with. It was like we entered a chrysalis together and were thrown off by the darkness and the losing of our form without realizing all the while we were shedding our old selves as a couple. Thankfully, we made it through.

After having gone through all of this and without being so naive as to think it will only happen once, we cannot deny our rich history together or that the depth of our love for each other has since expanded. We feel lighter and wiser. We acknowledge we don't know what our future will bring, but have a healthy awareness that the relationship we cultivate today will shape the one we have tomorrow.

And we now know it's better to clean out our closet on a regular basis than it is to wait until another decade passes.

A Hero Among Us

Last night, while teaching my yoga class, I had the privilege of meeting a man with an incredible story.
The class was packed with women. In walked a male newcomer. Middle-aged and bald-headed, he's husky and tattooed. His braced legs and cane carried him as he made his way to the front of the class. Within the first few repetitions of our sun salutations, he began showing signs of struggle and I became a little concerned that he may be discouraged and leave the class... but he didn't.
In fact, he gave his all throughout the entire class, taking breaks whenever he needed to and without apology. He was the last to leave and as I approach to thank him for coming, he introduced himself and told me his story.

Three years ago, he had a flu shot and he nearly died. His entire nervous system was blown out and recovery has been a very long process. He spent months in the hospital, extensive time in a wheelchair, eventually progressed to walking with two canes and now he is down to one cane. His neurologist told him to come to yoga and if he continued making the progress he was, he'd be back to work next year.

This... man... is... INCREDIBLE. As he told his story, I couldn't help but to notice his determination and positive attitude and my eyes couldn't help but to fill with tears of absolute humility. It's not often I come across such courageous and inspiring individuals face to face, but when I do I am wise enough to recognize I am in the presence of a hero.

I know you're out there...

On some level, all of us are craving change. Perhaps you have felt your wheels spinning because the desire for change was there but you didn't know what to do with it. It's time to stop spinning and just make your move! Whether it's big or small, all action counts and is instrumental in creating change.

I found this TED Talks video (my favourite source of information) featuring Seth Godin, an entrepreneur and well-known blogger, speaking about using the internet as a tool, bringing like-minded people together to create major change. The power of one isn't really the power of one; it's the power of many and it is the power of truth. Speak your mind and share your heart, but you're going to ruffle some feathers. Do it as a 'tribe' and there's nothing to fear.

Grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine and for the next 20 minutes enjoy this little pep talk.

Seth Godin on the tribes we lead | Video on TED.com