It's Not Just Positive Thinking... It's Work.

  The mind is powerful. We've heard it all before: when thoughts are focused and backed by will we can create anything. The will is a mental muscle. The problem is most of us have fat heads. Our thoughts are scattered and we do little to exercise our minds beyond the building of our perpetual "to-do" list.  Sure, many of us can proudly declare that we've set goals and have achieved them, but that doesn't necessarily mean the mind is strong.

The true ability to create anything doesn't just come from setting and accomplishing goals, it comes from being able to choose the quality of thoughts, which thereby increases the quality of not only what you create, but the quality of who you become in the process of creating. What good is it if you finally make your million dollars, but you're full of anger? Or if you lose that extra 20 lbs, but you're full of guilt? The why you want to create is more important than the what. The why is what will provide sustenance to your will, because if it's compelling enough it will be what pushes you to walk through the fires you are bound to face.  Becoming healthy so you can look good on the beach isn't as compelling as so you can physically enjoy life to the fullest.  Working toward that dream job so you can buy a new Mercedes-Benz isn't as compelling as so you can help more people with the extra money you earn.

Whenever you are trying to create something new, the creative process raises sensitivities that will either encourage you to reinforce existing bad habits or redefine who you are. The key is paying attention to your tendencies toward feelings of inadequacy or failure, which usually translates into anger, jealousy, shame, guilt, etc... basically all the feelings you don't enjoy feeling.

Self-defeating thoughts are bound to make an appearance, but it's up to you whether or not you accept them. Think of them as a function of self-preservation. They are merely a retaliation to your attempt to deviate from your current belief system, which defines who you currently are. It's an obstacle... a test to see how you will choose to proceed and just how strong your will is. It's also fork in the road. You could push through on will alone, but when you accomplish your goal, you'll just be the same person at a different spot. Insecurities from prior unchanged beliefs will continue to pester your mind. Worse yet, if you push through merely on will, the how to achieving your goal may also have a hefty price: How many relationships did you damage along the way? How many morals did you have to compromise? What harm did you bring to your body?

The real problem is when these self-defeating thoughts occur and you make the mistake of accepting them as wise thoughts. Once they're accepted, your actions will follow. The trick is to take those thoughts and put them under a magnifying glass. See how they've managed to run your life thus far; influencing the decisions you've made and the people you have allowed into our life. Maybe it's even some of those very same people speaking your negative thoughts for you. The biggest question you could ask is not How am I going to change all of this? But rather What do I need to change within myself to move forward? Maybe it's to be more forgiving of your past mistakes or more compassionate toward your imperfections. Whatever virtue is waiting to be retrieved will bring forth wisdom and in the end, a much better version of you.

It may take several sessions of chipping away at your obstacles. Chances are you will experience taking a few steps back for some of the progress you make. It may seem like all of this is slowing down your process, but if you persevere you'll find it's actually transforming who your are. It's hard work building a solid foundation, but in the end, it's what will turn your vision into your new reality.

"I'm a big believer in growth. Life is not about achievement, it's about learning and growth, and developing qualities like compassion, patience, perseverance, love, and joy, and so forth. And so if that is the case, then I think our goals should include something which stretches us."
 
- Jack Canfield, co-creator of "Chicken Soup for the Soul".

The Joys and Pains of Pleasure

 I've been lighting incense and buying a lot of coconut milk lately. I'm not in Thailand anymore, but I don't want to believe it. The other day, I ordered tom yum soup and was able to say "korp khun ka" just one more time. I continue to struggle to hold on to Thailand as long as I can before it slips into the recesses of my mind and my Canadian roots anchor my feet back to the ground. Thoughts of moving there have been playing mean tricks on me.  Extreme pleasure... is it different from extreme pain?

When something big happens in our lives, good or bad, it changes us. The unfolding that follows is the recovery period: with pain, it's healing from hurt, with pleasure, it's contracting from expansion.  When we heal we find wisdom, when we contract we find possibilities. With further thought, I guess we also find possibilities with healing and wisdom with contraction.

In the forest at Wat Umong, Chiang Mai

Extreme pleasure and pain involve personal rearranging and growth and both processes cannot be rushed because they have a timeline of their own, however one must take care to not let the present moment slip by unnoticed. It is in the present moment of healing or contraction that action is the most powerful. In fact, action becomes more like ritual and helps the process along.

Many years ago, my husband and I had a very sad ending to our first pregnancy, bringing extreme pain into our lives. To help recover from grief, I felt drawn to buying myself a beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers every week. It was my way of remembering our baby boy and attempting to stay in the present moment. Deep down, I knew when I was ready to let go, I wouldn't need to buy the flowers anymore and of course, that's exactly what happened. I don't remember the exact day it happened, but I just stopped buying them. I do remember being able to notice beauty all around me again... in hindsight, buying flowers had become a ritual of hope.

My friend, Mae Bua Tong

Thailand, on the other hand, was all about extreme pleasure, to the point of being mystical: looking into the eye of an elephant as my daughter and I bathed her, listening to the chanting of buddhist monks– the sound soaking into my bones, breathing in the air of a rainforest thousands of years old, feeling the marble beneath my bare feet as we entered every wat (temple), tasting exotic spices and fruits that have never touched my tongue before, being alone and lost, but finding my way home... the Buddha images... the Buddha images.

Something has happened 'back there' and it continues to penetrate the deepest parts of who I am, beyond language and rational thinking. Cooking and eating Thai food has become my ritual as I navigate my way through the more mystical side of life. I feel compelled to read about Mystic Christianity (there's more to Jesus than you know) The Kabbalah, The Lotus Sutra, etc., etc., to revisit the truths beyond religion and to deepen the way I choose to live them. Don't ask. That's why I'm eating Thai food, because I don't get it either, but somehow it's all connected. The smells and tastes of the food is my way of remembering Thailand and what started all of this. I'm well aware a day will come when months will have passed since I've ordered a good dish of pad thai and on that day, I will be able to find out what this ritual has been about. In the meantime, I'm just going to enjoy the space I'm in: eating my Thai food, feeling my faith deepen and my connection to humanity and earth strengthen. Life... is... good.