Reflection on Year One of Entrepreneurship (Part 1)

ACHOOOO!!! *SNIFF*  Woah... I guess that's what happens when you blow the dust off a blog you haven't posted to in several months! I can't say I've ever taken this long of a hiatus from writing before. The truth is after I returned from India in January, my relatively new life as an entrepreneur welcomed me back with such vigour that I've had great difficulty finding the time to write... but, I'm back!

I think it would be most fitting for my first post of 2014 be about my first year as an entrepreneur, where the first nine months saw zero income.

So what did I do during that time?

I dreamed, imagined and dreamed some more.
For days I wrote and rewrote my mission and vision statements, scribbled business models on my whiteboard, and dressed and undressed it all in various styles of branding.
I hashed my ideas out with a graphic designer and web developer.
I met with marketing gurus.
I sought the advice of lawyers, accountants, bookkeepers and bankers.
I identified mentors and picked the brains of wise business leaders.
I attended leadership for social change workshops.

For weeks I experimented and played with all of the stress management tools I've experienced success with.
I researched and collected data on the damage stress is creating in our lives and spoke with various professionals trying to do something about it.
I sat in on conversations about stress in the workplace and discovered who the key players are.
I familiarized myself with standards and policies around mental wellness in the workplace.

For months I met people and met people and... met... people.
I listened. I observed. I asked questions and I shared my vision.
I found my supporters and surrounded myself with like minded individuals.

I stretched and kept stretching until I was completely out of my comfort zone.
 
For fleeting moments I doubted and second guessed... and yes, I got scared.
I was reaffirmed by my conviction and the people who believed in me.
I found the courage to continue moving forward.

The vision and mission evolved and branding was nailed.
Passionate and talented yoga teachers appeared. They believed in my vision and wanted to be part of its mission. I was humbled and scared (again) because it was already growing bigger than I had anticipated. I was and still am obsessed, grateful, amazed with this new venture.

By early fall, the big red velvet curtains on the stage were were the only thing separating my dream from becoming reality– I could hear people taking their seats before the show began and it made me nervous. In October, the curtains were drawn open and Prana was launched. Clients showed up and we started doing what we originally set out to do: shift peoples lives.

I can't express the how gratifying it is to watch something go from thoughts in your head to a team of teachers and a growing list of clients. It's unbelievable how much growth I've undergone while going through this entire process.

This past year, I've been able to test and prove the yogic ideals of becoming comfortable with not having all the answers and having faith that all problems have a solution, providing you look for the solution and not become distracted by the problem.

I've experienced the truth of our interconnectedness, that you cannot make a business happen by yourself:
You get business by doing business.
If you care for the success of your community, your community will care for the success of you.
If your vision is big enough, it will attract the right people to bring it to life.

And it seems the more symbiotic relationships a business creates, the more the business organically grows.

I LOVE the quality of life it has given me. As much as my previous employer, rtraction, was flexible and more than accommodating, I always felt I was costing someone else money and inconvenience if I wholeheartedly put my family first. That internal tension is now gone.

If my kids need me, without hesitation, I am there and I can give them my full attention.
More often than not, we eat healthy, home cooked meals.
Our house feels lived in.
I have more to give to myself, which means I have more to give to my husband and children.
I am available for my mother if she gets sick.
I have a decent bed time.
I can control the flow of work, appreciating that there will be high periods of busy-ness, but the rest of the time my workload is reasonable.

My team members tell me they are grateful to be able to have such an in-depth, positive impact on people and they enjoy the sense of community we're creating within our team. They appreciate how they are able determine how many hours they can dedicate to Prana and it's always adjustable to accommodate their ever changing life.

Our clients are sharing their success stories and value the services we offer. In such a short time, it seems we are indeed making a positive shift in the lives of people.

This last year will be unforgettable as I witnessed a dream turn into thoughts on a paper and grow into something real as I watered it with action. To me, being an entrepreneur means being able hear your heart beating so loudly that it moves other people.

Namaste.

Inspiration is Just Around the Corner

She's been walking by our house for more than a month now, but today we are ecstatic for her.

"MOM!!! COME LOOK!!! SHE'S WALKING ALL BY HERSELF!!!"

 I know exactly whom my daughters are referring to. I run into our dining room and stand behind my girls, who have their noses pressed up against the window. There she is... walking slowly on the sidewalk across the street. I'm sure she's still in pain, but she is free and clear. Nothing supporting her except for her husband, who has been by her side for every walk and is now walking a good three feet in front of her.

Before August, we had never seen this woman before. She kind of showed up out of the blue one day with a walker and some bandages wrapped around her right leg. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail and the lines on her middle-aged face showed she wasn't at all enthusiastic about going for a walk, but her husband was there, walking just a slow as she, helping her through the pain. When they made it to the front of our house, they paused and pointed with smiles on their faces. Maybe they were admiring our renovations or perhaps there was a side show being performed the local squirrels; for whatever reason she noticed us and we noticed her and that's when her story began to unfold for us.

For weeks they walked by our house, each time we noted her progress and became more and more excited for her. We didn't have to know what the details of her story were. We saw her struggle, her determination, her progress and we were inspired. Over time we witnessed the walker turn into a cane and the cane turn into her husband. Then the day came when we saw she no longer had to walk arm in arm with her husband. We couldn't help but cheer. We were just so happy for her!

Our victory cheer had to come to an end by the necessity of having to leave for gymnastics. The girls and I piled into our car and backed out of the driveway. As we approached this special woman and her husband, I slowed down to a pause and rolled down the window.

"Excuse me!" I shouted. "I just wanted to let you know that my girls and I have been watching you walk by our house week after week and we are so proud of your progress. You have really been inspiring to us. We're big fans!"

Her face lit up. She brought her hand to her chest. "REALLY??? OH! THANK YOU!"

All the while, her husband proudly looked on with a smile on his face. They continued on their way and we continued on ours.

 Yes, she has inspired me. Actually, both her and her husband have inspired me. He made her healing journey his journey as well, but clearly it was her pain. She had to challenge it and persevere while holding a vision of healing... and she succeeded. We couldn't imagine her walking by herself. In fact, it would seem foolish. Clearly, challenges seem smaller when we have someone who cares by our side. She showed my girls the value of never giving up, no matter how difficult it may seem and the true meaning of victory. She also taught us that we just never know how overcoming our own obstacles can inspire others who are watching.

Have a Little Faith

When you have faith, the sun is always shining.

Faith is more than "believing" in something.  It is confidence and trust mixed together. To thrive in life, we have to know we are competent and know we will follow through without fail, even if it means overcoming obstacles. We make things difficult for ourselves when we become unsure of what our strengths are and/or we neglect to hold ourselves accountable for our lack of determination. Sometimes we put too much faith in others and not enough in ourselves. A lot of the time, we lack faith in the mysteries of life; the mysteries that bring the right person, the right circumstance, the right everything so you may thrive.

The culprit of lacking faith has to do with "the plan". Having a plan isn't a bad thing, just don't develop tunnel vision around it. Like a yogi on the mat, or a ship set to sea, you have to be prepared to adapt, adjust and modify as situations arise. Some situations may slow you down, others may expose you to new and unexpected experiences. At those times when you feel lost and fear begins to set in, go to your safe place where you can release your emotions and then emerge full of faith; with confidence and trust that you AND the mysteries of life are both competent and will follow through without fail. Even if it means overcoming obstacles. 

Another One Off My "Bucket List"

I've practiced yoga at 6:00 a.m. before, but never in the hallway of a hotel. It's not something on my bucket list, but what followed was: my husband and I running our first half marathon. My yoga practice not only warmed up my muscles, it focused my mind. I wasn't 100% sure if I could run the whole thing and I needed to cast away all doubt.

My husband and I (pre-race)

I drank my daily concoction of "greens"  that my husband packed for the both of us, ate a few slices of apples and then we were off. I felt confident I had enough energy to sustain me, given the amount of carbs I  had accumulated in my system from eating a large pasta dinner the night before.

With my step mother and our daughters in tow, Kevin and I made our way through the hotel lobby to catch the first taxi we saw. We could've easily walked to the start line, but... it was pouring rain. 

Great. Better stay dry as long as we can, I thought.

The good news was as soon as the run began the rain stopped. At that point, I could release the envy that crept into my mind and targeted everyone wearing a garbage bag. 

Within the first 15 minutes, my iPod quit working for reasons unknown. At that point, my crutch of comfort was taken away. No longer could I depend on the playlist of power songs I carefully put together the day before. No problem. The people, the music and the cheering put a smile on my face for the first 7 kilometers, until my right knee started hurting really bad. Then the people, the music and the cheering became necessities. I observed onlookers banging cowbells, which prompted me to begin yelling "MORE COWBELL!" so they would make more noise and distract me from the pain.

After 7 kilometers, my body was no longer running the show, my mind was:

My knee is really hurting. I hope I don't damage it.

It'll be okay. Just keep going.

But this totally contradicts the yogic view of honouring my body. I'm going beyond my limits.

Yes, but from a Buddhist view I'm overcoming an obstacle.

 Aww screw it. I didn't come all this way or bring my stepmother and children here to see me walk across the finish line. My yoga practice will make for a quick recovery. I'm not quitting.

Then I thought about olympic athletes, athletes with physical disabilities, and a co-worker who recently completed a half-iron man, which is 70km of running, biking and swimming, while she was sick. And when those thoughts didn't work, I recited a Buddhist mantra. Despite the feeling of my knee* threatening to give out at any moment, it held up and my husband and I crossed the finish line in 2 hours and 22 minutes.

This is what my half marathon experience has taught me:

1. Showing up counts as effort and builds momentum. Some people would rather talk about it than actually show up.
   
   
2. Showing up may count for something, but doing the actual work to achieve your goal requires conviction, perseverance, and people cheering from the side lines.
   
   
3. As Rachel Berdan (the co-worker I spoke about earlier) advised... "trust your training". The effort of your past actions will determine how ready you are to pursue your goal. Which leads me back to lesson #1- you can't just show up.
   
   
4. There was a sign someone was holding up along the route that read, "Losers never start. The weak never finish. Winners never quit." This kinda sums up lessons 1-3.
   
   
5. Rachel was right. When I stood at the start line, I realized I had been waiting for this moment and I was ready for it. All of my training brought me to this point, which confirms that any and all action toward any goal or dream means eventually you will not only show up for your moment, but you will finish it.
   
   
6. When you lose momentum or you feel like giving up, turn to your cheerleaders and encourage others along the way. I found myself spontaneously shouting at everyone around me, "Come on! You can do this! Don't quit!" You can try to lift your self up, but you gain more when you lift others up with you.
   
   
7. Never have a go at anything big alone. Having my husband running beside me kept me strong. Nothing beats approaching the "finish line", whatever that may be,  and seeing the faces of loved ones cheering you on, knowing they are witnessing an epic moment on your timeline.
   
   
8. Overcoming obstacles as a couple keep a marriage strong, especially ones you choose. That could mean eating healthier, getting out of debt or renovating a house. Carefully placed stressors make you work as a team.

So tell me... where are you in your half marathon of life? Watching others, while merely dreaming about pursuing that goal or dream? Have you showed up, but without doing the training only to say, "why bother?" or have you been working tirelessly with a vision of crossing the finish line? Maybe it's time to actually run. If you've been running and obstacles are in your way, don't give up and make sure you rely on those positive people you've surrounded yourself with. And... if you've crossed the finish line, maybe it's time you started helping others to do the same.

*After all is said and done, my knee is fine. And yes, yoga provided a quick recovery time– although on "day 3" of recovery I was sitting at an all day retreat for work and I kind of seized up. Mental note: stay moving post half-marathon.

It's Not Just Positive Thinking... It's Work.

  The mind is powerful. We've heard it all before: when thoughts are focused and backed by will we can create anything. The will is a mental muscle. The problem is most of us have fat heads. Our thoughts are scattered and we do little to exercise our minds beyond the building of our perpetual "to-do" list.  Sure, many of us can proudly declare that we've set goals and have achieved them, but that doesn't necessarily mean the mind is strong.

The true ability to create anything doesn't just come from setting and accomplishing goals, it comes from being able to choose the quality of thoughts, which thereby increases the quality of not only what you create, but the quality of who you become in the process of creating. What good is it if you finally make your million dollars, but you're full of anger? Or if you lose that extra 20 lbs, but you're full of guilt? The why you want to create is more important than the what. The why is what will provide sustenance to your will, because if it's compelling enough it will be what pushes you to walk through the fires you are bound to face.  Becoming healthy so you can look good on the beach isn't as compelling as so you can physically enjoy life to the fullest.  Working toward that dream job so you can buy a new Mercedes-Benz isn't as compelling as so you can help more people with the extra money you earn.

Whenever you are trying to create something new, the creative process raises sensitivities that will either encourage you to reinforce existing bad habits or redefine who you are. The key is paying attention to your tendencies toward feelings of inadequacy or failure, which usually translates into anger, jealousy, shame, guilt, etc... basically all the feelings you don't enjoy feeling.

Self-defeating thoughts are bound to make an appearance, but it's up to you whether or not you accept them. Think of them as a function of self-preservation. They are merely a retaliation to your attempt to deviate from your current belief system, which defines who you currently are. It's an obstacle... a test to see how you will choose to proceed and just how strong your will is. It's also fork in the road. You could push through on will alone, but when you accomplish your goal, you'll just be the same person at a different spot. Insecurities from prior unchanged beliefs will continue to pester your mind. Worse yet, if you push through merely on will, the how to achieving your goal may also have a hefty price: How many relationships did you damage along the way? How many morals did you have to compromise? What harm did you bring to your body?

The real problem is when these self-defeating thoughts occur and you make the mistake of accepting them as wise thoughts. Once they're accepted, your actions will follow. The trick is to take those thoughts and put them under a magnifying glass. See how they've managed to run your life thus far; influencing the decisions you've made and the people you have allowed into our life. Maybe it's even some of those very same people speaking your negative thoughts for you. The biggest question you could ask is not How am I going to change all of this? But rather What do I need to change within myself to move forward? Maybe it's to be more forgiving of your past mistakes or more compassionate toward your imperfections. Whatever virtue is waiting to be retrieved will bring forth wisdom and in the end, a much better version of you.

It may take several sessions of chipping away at your obstacles. Chances are you will experience taking a few steps back for some of the progress you make. It may seem like all of this is slowing down your process, but if you persevere you'll find it's actually transforming who your are. It's hard work building a solid foundation, but in the end, it's what will turn your vision into your new reality.

"I'm a big believer in growth. Life is not about achievement, it's about learning and growth, and developing qualities like compassion, patience, perseverance, love, and joy, and so forth. And so if that is the case, then I think our goals should include something which stretches us."
 
- Jack Canfield, co-creator of "Chicken Soup for the Soul".

You CAN change the world

"Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. It's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere."

-President Barack Obama


Shortly after I graduated and began my first career as a school teacher, I remember having this overwhelming feeling that somehow I could change the world; that I was unstoppable. Of course, that was before I knew about bureaucratic barriers. It didn't take long before my naive optimism was squashed out of me and I resigned to a life of mediocrity. I decided that I was powerless; my pulse slowed down, my fire turned to glowing embers. My new mantra became "Why bother?"

If you are living or ever have lived by that mantra, you understand the ways in which your life suddenly turns gray and you begin to live vicariously through larger than life characters in books or on screens.

It was only a matter of time before my residency in the wasteland of mediocrity became dissatisfying. My hiding place was discovered by my spirit and my first born child. I had no choice but to try again.This time around, I realize that leaving your mark isn't so much about the mark itself as it is about the type of person you have to become and the vision you have to guide you.

Mr. Gandhi was right.To create any significant change in the world first requires a significant change within. The biggest changes often involve overcoming multiple fears. Fear of loss. Fear of rejection. Fear of persecution... and the list goes on and on. In fact, I'm not sure the list is ever exhausted. And you can guarantee, where there is fear, feelings of inadequacy also exist. 

Nobody likes to feel inadequate, but without feeling less than capable we wouldn't need to grow. It is where one of life's many forks in the road exists: grow bigger than you are right now, or shrink so you can remain comfortable–for now. I guess you could also choose to not to choose. I wouldn't recommend that option though, I've tried it and I just ended up standing at the junction complaining because I was uncomfortable. It's not fun. But what I now know is nothing... I repeat; nothing feels more epic than overcoming a fear that has been holding you back from living to your fullest potential or becoming proficient at something you once floundered at.

When I was younger I took the comfortable road. Maybe I didn't believe enough in my vision to fight for it. Or maybe I had realized if I fought for it I might not win... and then what? Perhaps my vision was weak and incomplete. Whatever the reason, I needed my flame to peter out so I could build a better fire. Now, when I feel the slightest loss in momentum,  I either fine tune my vision, change my approach, take a break, regroup... I'm not giving up. Not this time.

As Barack says, making your mark is not easy and it does take patience, commitment and a willingness to fail. It is a true test of your vision. I believe a great vision will always see you through and the feet of the person you are becoming will eventually get you there.