Not Too Hard, Not Too Easy

This time last year, my life was very different. I was working full time and life was going by way too fast. (I told my neighbour I loved him, remember?)  The real wake up call came when I realized a whole school year had almost passed and I didn't know who my children's teachers were– a hard pill to swallow being a former educator.

We had stopped eating fresh, slow-cooked meals because frozen, pre-cooked meals and (gulp) fast food had become more convenient. I remember one incident when my best friend was taking care of my girls after school. She drove them both to gymnastics for me and I later met up with them after work. I was wild-eyed and frantic, holding a bag of McDonald's food in my hand for dinner. I was on the verge of tears when I shook the bag at her and said "This is not how I want to live! This is NOT okay!" She and I laugh about it today, but that moment was a tell-tale sign I was living out of alignment with my values. I was suffering because of it and so was the rest of my family.

A year ago, we spent a lot of money on babysitting and if it weren't for teaching yoga, I would not have had any form of regular exercise because it was much harder to bail on 20 people who were waiting for me at the gym than it was to give in to the weight of being too tired. Speaking of  exercise and being too tired, I missed my husband and he missed me.

I finally gave myself my no-fail "when-I-take-my-last-breath-will-I-have-any-regrets" test and decided I had many regrets on the horizon if I didn't make some changes soon. I  didn't want to look up one day to see my daughters going off to university and know I wasn't there for them when I could've been. I didn't want to see my husband and I grow apart because I was too busy to work on our relationship. I needed to create more balance in my life.

Last May, I made the move to work only part-time. I'm making less money, but I've become richer in other ways and I am now enjoying the fruits of my decision.We're eating healthier. I can sit with my girls when they do their homework. I volunteer once a week in their classrooms and I'm involved with the school council. My husband and I laugh together every day and his odds of getting lucky have increased dramatically. I have room to express my creativity and better serve my community. Balance has been restored and we are all much happier.

Don't get me wrong, I still have busy phases. In fact, I'm in the middle of one right now; hence the single blog post for this month. Even so, I have more control of the flow of "busy-ness" in my life and it's a much more sustainable model. In Eastern philosophy it is recommended that life should not be too hard or too easy, but in the middle. I've found my middle... for now. How about you?