Chaos and Calm Go Hand in Hand.

A death in the family. Crazy activity schedule for kids. Immediate and extended family demands that can't always be met. A new business to tend to... this, in a nutshell, is what's been happening in the last month.

Right now, everything is a blur.

Life just keeps happening no matter who you are. And yes, even being the yogi that I am, I still experience moments when I am reduced to a time-starved, high stressed, carb-eating human doing (not being). The truth is, this is the unsustainable part of the human experience in a privileged country.

Once in a while, things get super busy and chaotic. Depending on the nature of it all, it could last a few weeks, a month or a whole year, especially if there has been a major life crisis. The tough part is recognizing when the tornado of activity is over and it's time to readjust how we move through our day.  I see this quite often with people who are unable to lie still in relaxation at the end of a yoga class; they have the time and space to do nothing, but their bodies and minds just keep going.

Currently, slowing down isn't my struggle. Okay, I lie... it is. Only I have a strong desire to slow down, but the timing isn't quite right. I don't enjoy being this busy, but I do recognize this is the particular season of my life at the moment AND... it's a recently new season, so I have to allow myself time to adapt and adjust. Quite frequently throughout the day, I am checking in with my breathing, the amount of tension in my body and my state of mind.  I find minutes of refuge that feel like hours of recharge when I stop to take in a hug from one of my children, when I pause for a minute to sit silently in my backyard, when I sneak in a handstand before returning to my computer after a bathroom break, when my head hits my pillow at a decent bed time at night... No, these aren't prolonged moments of deep contemplation or silence. Nor are they long hikes in the forest or an evening out with girlfriends. These moments are fleeting, but as long as I can pause to appreciate them they still count and they still refuel my tank.  I know eventually they will grow in length and these hurried days will calm down... and then... start up again... and calm down again... This is life.

What I am struggling with is disappointing extended family members at my current lack of availability. There was a time when I was going to university full-time and working three jobs. There just wasn't enough time in the day to spend time with family. That time in my life is over, but this "season" is quite reminiscent of those old days. It's also reminiscent of a few years ago, when our daughters were 3- and 6-years-old and I returned to school full time to study corporate communications and public relations. It was extremely busy, but that time is over... And so too, this time will eventually come to an end. Chaos. Calm. Chaos. Calm.  Life is ever fluctuating and nothing stays the same. To my family... this won't last forever and I have to give myself permission to disappoint you. I know you still love me ;)

I thank the past version of my husband and myself for planning our annual back country canoe & camping trip to Algonquin Park back in May. I can't wait to embed and insulate myself with my family into the refuge of the wilderness. To wash off this last year of city dwelling and get back to being instead of doing– even if it's only for five days I will soak up every moment like it's a year long retreat. You can bet nobody will hear from me at all.

Reflection on Year One of Entrepreneurship (Part 2)

What was I talking about??? What was I about to do??? Where did I put my keys???

Yes... Part 2 of Year One of Entrepreneurship is about the side effects of becoming an entrepreneur.

Mommy Brain is Back.

For the women out there who have experienced "mommy brain",  you will have some experience with scatterbrainitis that entrepreneurs tend to suffer from. Not only does one have more to think about, but each item to think about carries a greater weight of responsibility, which creates internal pressure not to forget anything, which in fact, results in the exact opposite– you forget everything. No longer can I judge business people who appear to be disorganized. Rather, I now appreciate all of the details that need to be attended to and the inexhaustible to-do list floating around in their mental space. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. Enter my mantra: "It will all get done... It will all get done... It will all get done..." which means, some things may not be done in timely matter as it may have been done in the past (ex. responding to emails, blogging, tweeting, etc.) but it doesn't mean I don't care. There's just not enough of me to go around.

I've come to accept a level of disorganization as part of being a business owner, but I've also learned the art of delegation. I simply cannot do everything. Time to start outsourcing. Enter the housecleaning crew, a part-time assistant, more team members and a little more room to breathe.

Look at my little cutie patootie... Awww... do you want your baba?

It's a strange phenomenon that happens to new parents... the tone of their voice changes and they begin speaking infantese. Ever met a business owner who only talks business?  I've caught myself several times. I think need to start reading tabloids.


Is their a multi-vitamin for time deficiency?

Just like having a new born, I am living for the survival and well-being of my neophyte business. When I'm not being a mother and wife, every available minute is unconditionally offered to my new business and just like when I brought my babies home, taking care of my own needs is hit and miss, but I know better than to let it go completely. I have maintained a sporadic 5:00am yoga practice. I take naps. I go to bed at before 11:00pm (most nights). I've been seeing my massage therapist... but I miss my play time.  I need some silliness and good belly laughs. I need to spend more time with friends and extended family. I need to be soaking up some fresh vitamin D and enjoying the outdoors– lately it's just been too cold for my tropically mixed blood. Hurry up warm weather!!!

It will all get done... It will all get done... It will all get done...

Sure it everything takes more effort, but what you end up with is a strong and healthy priority system because your time really is a precious and limited commodity. And just like parenting, being an entrepreneur is the most challenging and rewarding role one can have. I'm also setting out to defy the odds, to create a new model of healthy and well-thy entrepreneurship... please excuse me while I take a moment to "just breathe".

Reflection on Year One of Entrepreneurship (Part 1)

ACHOOOO!!! *SNIFF*  Woah... I guess that's what happens when you blow the dust off a blog you haven't posted to in several months! I can't say I've ever taken this long of a hiatus from writing before. The truth is after I returned from India in January, my relatively new life as an entrepreneur welcomed me back with such vigour that I've had great difficulty finding the time to write... but, I'm back!

I think it would be most fitting for my first post of 2014 be about my first year as an entrepreneur, where the first nine months saw zero income.

So what did I do during that time?

I dreamed, imagined and dreamed some more.
For days I wrote and rewrote my mission and vision statements, scribbled business models on my whiteboard, and dressed and undressed it all in various styles of branding.
I hashed my ideas out with a graphic designer and web developer.
I met with marketing gurus.
I sought the advice of lawyers, accountants, bookkeepers and bankers.
I identified mentors and picked the brains of wise business leaders.
I attended leadership for social change workshops.

For weeks I experimented and played with all of the stress management tools I've experienced success with.
I researched and collected data on the damage stress is creating in our lives and spoke with various professionals trying to do something about it.
I sat in on conversations about stress in the workplace and discovered who the key players are.
I familiarized myself with standards and policies around mental wellness in the workplace.

For months I met people and met people and... met... people.
I listened. I observed. I asked questions and I shared my vision.
I found my supporters and surrounded myself with like minded individuals.

I stretched and kept stretching until I was completely out of my comfort zone.
 
For fleeting moments I doubted and second guessed... and yes, I got scared.
I was reaffirmed by my conviction and the people who believed in me.
I found the courage to continue moving forward.

The vision and mission evolved and branding was nailed.
Passionate and talented yoga teachers appeared. They believed in my vision and wanted to be part of its mission. I was humbled and scared (again) because it was already growing bigger than I had anticipated. I was and still am obsessed, grateful, amazed with this new venture.

By early fall, the big red velvet curtains on the stage were were the only thing separating my dream from becoming reality– I could hear people taking their seats before the show began and it made me nervous. In October, the curtains were drawn open and Prana was launched. Clients showed up and we started doing what we originally set out to do: shift peoples lives.

I can't express the how gratifying it is to watch something go from thoughts in your head to a team of teachers and a growing list of clients. It's unbelievable how much growth I've undergone while going through this entire process.

This past year, I've been able to test and prove the yogic ideals of becoming comfortable with not having all the answers and having faith that all problems have a solution, providing you look for the solution and not become distracted by the problem.

I've experienced the truth of our interconnectedness, that you cannot make a business happen by yourself:
You get business by doing business.
If you care for the success of your community, your community will care for the success of you.
If your vision is big enough, it will attract the right people to bring it to life.

And it seems the more symbiotic relationships a business creates, the more the business organically grows.

I LOVE the quality of life it has given me. As much as my previous employer, rtraction, was flexible and more than accommodating, I always felt I was costing someone else money and inconvenience if I wholeheartedly put my family first. That internal tension is now gone.

If my kids need me, without hesitation, I am there and I can give them my full attention.
More often than not, we eat healthy, home cooked meals.
Our house feels lived in.
I have more to give to myself, which means I have more to give to my husband and children.
I am available for my mother if she gets sick.
I have a decent bed time.
I can control the flow of work, appreciating that there will be high periods of busy-ness, but the rest of the time my workload is reasonable.

My team members tell me they are grateful to be able to have such an in-depth, positive impact on people and they enjoy the sense of community we're creating within our team. They appreciate how they are able determine how many hours they can dedicate to Prana and it's always adjustable to accommodate their ever changing life.

Our clients are sharing their success stories and value the services we offer. In such a short time, it seems we are indeed making a positive shift in the lives of people.

This last year will be unforgettable as I witnessed a dream turn into thoughts on a paper and grow into something real as I watered it with action. To me, being an entrepreneur means being able hear your heart beating so loudly that it moves other people.

Namaste.

A Shout Out to rtraction

It's been almost a month since I've left rtraction, but I feel like I've never left. I'm still gleaning the gems from working at such a dynamic organization, which is why I want to say...

Thank you rtraction
For being big on ideas
and not shying away when ideas are big
For making play just as important as work
(and making shoes optional)
For showing me that anything is possible
when you have the right people with the same vision
and that failure is okay (to a point) ...just don't give up
That social media really is social (you can't fake it)
That leadership doesn't have to be hierarchal
and organizations can give beyond a dollar amount
That each employee matters and to play to her strengths
For demonstrating the importance of adapting and adapting again
For exposing me to the unforgiving pressure of D E A D L I N E S
and to the genius of Seth Godin
To have one foot in boldness and the other in humility.
Thank you for reminding me to stay true to your craft.

Thank you rtraction
for all of this and more. 

It's Big, It's Grey... and It's Yours.

We all have something in our lives that we would call an elephant: it's that one big thing we would love to do, but make a million excuses not to do it. There's major risk involved. A lot of hard work is required; maybe more than we've ever been asked of ourselves. Do you fear the elephant?

4 years ago, I decided to leave the profession of teaching to pursue... Ha! I didn't know and to some degree I still don't! But I had enough reasons back then to make the move. Now, don't get me wrong... it took two years of consideration and uncertainty before coming to that point, but it certainly prepared me for the raised eye brows and head shaking I got when I made the announcement. "Are you nuts? Summers off, a great pension... why would you give that up?" "What about all of your education? You're just going to let that go to waste?"

What seemed like a hasty decision to others, was actually well thought out. I mean, I had two years of behind-the-scenes contemplation. The one truth I couldn't surpress was no longer being happy in my career. Too many underprivileged kids were falling through the cracks. From what I could see, education was becoming a business and children where being treated like cardboard cut-outs. I knew with every ounce of my body I needed to make a change, but I was scared as hell to do it. I worried about what other people would think. I worried about what I would "do" next, but regardless the pain pushed me out of teaching and miraculously my happiness moved me forward.

Happiness asked me "What do you REALLY love to do? What are you REALLY good at? What are YOUR gifts to share?" Then something bigger asked me "Why are you here?" That last question I'm still trying to answer in greater detail, but in general I've come to answer it as "to live in joy and to leave the earth and humanity better than when I arrived".

Now that I'm on the other side, I often look back at how much I agonized over making that decision and I always smile with relief. My life has been nothing short of amazing and it just keeps on getting better. Increased community involvement, television appearances - even co-hosting a series (that not even I could watch because I'm not a cable subscriber), meeting a multitude incredible people and working for a company that cares.

Trying to leave the earth and humanity better than when I arrived is a BIG elephant, but like the saying goes, the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at time. And... in hindu tradition, Ganesh is a deity resembling an Elephant, also known as a destroyer of obstacles. If that's so, how can something be an obstacle and an obstacle remover? Looks like an opportunity to me.

Special thanks to Aaron Robb, who challenged me to write a blog post that included the words "fear the elephant".  I promised to do it if his next blog post included the words "in the babbling brook". My mission has been completed :)