Let There Be Light!

Today was the first morning we woke up to lights since February 18th. My husband flicked them on and watched with pleasure as everyone else in our family cringed and recoiled in objection. The strong reaction came as the aftermath of a"40-day experiment". In the spirit of Lent, my family and I committed to giving up something we may find challenging to go without, which ended up being lights and screens from sunset to sunrise, with exception on the weekend, when we could watch movies by candlelight. We called it the "40 day experiment" to remove the constraints of religion, while still holding on to the principles and values that are good to practice for personal growth, regardless of religious belief.

 We stayed true to our self-induced sacrifice for 34 of the 40 days. When my eldest daughter politely asked if we had to go without lights during her sleepover birthday party, I decided creating embarrassing memories for her 12th birthday in the name of personal growth wouldn't be a good idea and we kept the lights on for day 17 and then let them stay on longer than usual for the rest of the weekend– days 18 & 19– so we didn't have to cook by candlelight... again.  We also took a break on days 27 to 29, as we didn't want to fuss with candles in a hotel room during our mini getaway to Toronto for March Break. Even at fulfilling 85% of our commitment, we all had plenty to take away from living by candle light:

Pro #1 It increases productivity. It's far easier to do anything with access to light. Knowing that time with light was limited, meant you got shit done. This was true for all of us. As far as kids go, time is really an abstract concept until they start tracking time by the sun. Our kids became very aware of time limits and self monitored getting things done in an urgent manner because they could literally see that we were running out of light to work in.


Con #1 It decreases the number of hours in a work day. Whatever didn't get done was pushed to the next day.


Insight #1: Having electric lights tricks us into thinking we have more time to do things. This can either make us procrastinate (like kids) or squeeze in a way more 'things to do' than we would historically do in a single day. This experiment has proven to me because of electricity we cram far too much in a day and are working way more than we should.

Pro #2 It slows you down. Since you are limited in what you can do by candlelight you eventually lose the desire to do more in the evening. Instead, you simply wind down from the day. You are no longer rushing around to get things done because you can't move quickly in the dark; unless you want to bonk into a wall, catch your toe on a piece of furniture or catch your hair on fire.

Con #2a Things take longer to do. Looking for something in the basement at nine o'clock at night by candlelight takes time. So does making sure all bits of dinner have been washed off of the pots.

Insight #2: Accepting that nightfall signifies the work day is done allows our brain and body to relax. We all felt calmer in the evenings. 

Insight #2b: As a society, we have created a strong dependency on electric lights to the point that we've weakened our ability to 'see' in the dark. If we take the time to allow our eyes to focus and tune into our body's ability to sense objects in our environment, we can manage just fine with minimal light. The problem is we have to move slowly and mindfully to cultivate this skill, which isn't necessarily encouraged in a culture that highly values efficiency.  I think the person who can retrieve an object in the dark with patience and without injuring themselves has performed the job just as good, if not better than someone who flicks on the light and hastily grabs the same object. The first approach requires more awareness and skill than the second. If you were to put the latter person in the dark, you'd could very well have a stumbling, cursing fool who is in need of a first aid kit.

Pro # 3: Candlelight makes everything look better. Everyone and everything looks beautiful in reflecting the yellow-orange glow of candlelight. The element of fire is very primal and sacred. It's amorous and divine...  Yoga classes in my home studio were a definite hit. So was every dinner.

Con # 3: Blowing candles out was a bad idea.  For the first 17 days we had a cloud of smoke permeating our entire house after my husband and I blew out the candles. We'd open windows and fan doors back and forth just to try to dissipate the smoke. We also tried using a candle snuffer, but the same thing happened. It wasn't long before I began to really dislike the smell of candles after had been blown out. A yoga client suggested wetting our fingers or dousing them with a damp cloth. We opted for the damp cloth solution as the number of candles we would have to put out with our fingers would surely entail some pain. The good news is it worked and our house was smoke free for the rest of the experiment.

Insight #3: Even the act of putting out a candle flame should be done with care and not haste, lest the after affects linger longer than necessary. Wind is not the antidote to fire; water is. Remember this when encountering angry people.

Pro # 4: We noticed the sunrise everyday. Becoming dependent on sunlight meant we actually got to observe the sun rising and our bodies were able to wake up gradually instead of abruptly and rudely with the flick of a switch.

Con #4: Getting ready in the dark. For the first couple of days, this proved challenging as we had to adjust our routine and our patience levels, but once we established a new flow, we were able to manage quite well. Nothing and no one caught on fire once. Phew!

Insight #4: With the lights always on in the morning, we realized we were missing out on a very special part of the day. We also appreciated and used the light the sun provided.With electricity, we forget the simple, yet special offering of the sun to us each and every day. That beautiful ball of fire up in the cosmos helps to sustain us in so many ways and without it we would die. It's too bad we're often too busy to take notice of this daily gift. Be sure to thank the sun.

Pro #5a: We used up a massive load of candles sitting in our basement. We inherited these candles from my late mother-in-law, who I knew loved candles, but had no idea she had a stash so big! We ended up with a storage tub filled to the brim with candles– and that was after we sold a ton at last summer's garage sale. We now have a reasonable amount left that will be used within our lifetime. In fact, we may eventually have to buy candles.

Pro #5b: We saved money.  Surely, living without lights and screens in the evening for 34 days will have an impact on our hydro bill.

Pro #5c: We did something good for the planet. We were one less household requiring the typical amount of electricity for 34 days. We'd be silly to think our impact was measurable, but knowing we were using less resources than we had access to is gratifying; especially after visiting parts of Thailand and India where there wasn't enough electricity to go around. 

Con #5: Candles are not practical for the long term. Well, I guess they could be if you used them in smaller quantities, but if we were to continue living by candlelight, oil lanterns would be the way to go. In South India, they burn coconut oil at night.

All in all, I'd say this experiment was a great exercise. As a family, we strengthened our ability to work together as a team. With the kids, there was a decrease in conflicts related to time-sensitive tasks. And this year, Earth Hour was a breeze! I intend to make more of an effort of staying in tune with the natural rhythm of the sun. Although... here I am writing this blog post at 10:30 at night, long after the sun has gone down. Old habits are relentless! I guess the good news is tomorrow brings another opportunity to try again.

The 40-Day Experiment

Lent season is about to begin. Although I choose other means than my Catholic roots for spiritual expression, I find the principle behind Lent to be inspiring and with great potential for personal transformation. For those of you unfamiliar with Lent, it is a 40-day period of personal sacrifice to honour the death and rebirth of Christ.

A few years ago, for the first time in decades, I revisited this holiday after being inspired by one of my yoga students, who told me a tale of how her husband, two children and herself all declared personal sacrifices for the 40 days of Lent and the ways in which each of them was positively affected by their sacrifices. In fact, she told me, what they gained was worth more than the initial sacrifice.

If you know me, I LOVE positive change. So last year, I experimented and privately declared "40 days of Gratitude For My Husband".  Every day, on the wall closest to his side of the bed, I placed a handwritten sticky note of something specific I was grateful for that day as it related to him. Here's what it did: every day it put me on high alert to look for the ways in which my husband brings joy to my life. Once it started, I had to follow through because... you guessed it... by day three he was expecting another sticky note. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure it inspired my husband to give me something to write about. As we would get ready for bed at night, I would linger until I caught him reading my daily note just so I could watch his reaction. I must say, things that would have normally been taken for granted or go unnoticed by both of us were acknowledged and they clearly transformed the mundane into the extraordinary. When the 40 days were up, my husband looked at me and asked, "Can we make it into '80 days of Gratitude?'" We both laughed, but at the same time recognized the value of this little exercise of giving up time to give a little more appreciation. The other benefit of this experiment was a humbling of the ego, as for both of us awareness was no longer the self but on the other.

The beauty is you don't have to be a Christian to benefit from this exercise. If you are someone who is earnestly trying to become a better human being and to serve humanity, why not give it a go?  What would you be willing to sacrifice for the benefit of self and others? Below are some challenges that may pique your interest or lead to another idea. I'd love to hear what you'll commit to and the results of your 40 day experiment.

1.  Sacrifice violence. That's right... a violence detox. No more violent television shows, movies, video games. No more violent words or actions. This means you'll have to be a little more creative with how you express your anger. Oh... and violent thoughts count too!
2.  A Technology Fast. This can be done in many capacities. No electronics from sun-down to sun-up. It could be for one-hour daily. You make the call and then...unplug. Use the time you gain to act in ways that benefit others: volunteer at your favourite non-profit, help an elderly neighbour, spend quality time with loved ones, etc.
3. Commit to Sit. Give up 15 minutes a day before work or before bed to sit in silence. Meditate. Pray. Reflect on a high virtue like love, peace, unity... or just breathe.
4. Save your change. Skip the coffee and throw the money in a jar. Convince your latte drinking friends to do the same and then at the end of the month have fun pooling your coffee money together to donate to a charity of your choice.
5. Read Between the Lines. Read character building, value-instilling texts. Be curious and investigate several faiths to find what they all have in common.

 This year, I'm going to give up 15 minutes of sleep for an early morning meditation, as well as lights out from sun down to sun up– reminding me there are many places in the world without electricity and that there is value in simplicity. My candles are stocked. I'll let you know how my family responds!

An Open Letter To Mr. Bill Cosby

Dear Mr. Cosby,

Tonight you will be performing in the city where I live, London, Ontario. When your show was first announced, my intention was to purchase tickets as a Christmas gift for my mother.  However, when the stories of your past involvement with sexually assaulting teenage girls surfaced, my heart sank. Sadly, I decided to look for another gift for my mother. The fall of another hero.

Mr. Cosby, I don't think you are a monster. No... to me you are simply a human being who has made some dark choices.

You are the same human being who reinforced good morals and values within me as a child and a developing teenager. I watched every episode of "Fat Albert and The Cosby Kids" growing up and can still recall your face appearing on the television screen just at the right time to point out the dilemma of the day and to emphasize the importance of the impending choices to be made. Mr. Cosby, as a child you reminded me to stop and think, to connect my actions with their impact, and most importantly, to do the right thing– something Fat Albert realized was always easier said than done.

Mr. Cosby, just when I began the tumultuous journey into adolescence, you cast a safety net around me with the launch of "The Cosby Show". As a young, racially-mixed girl growing up in the Canadian border town of Sarnia, your creation was the only positive reflection of African Americans playing over the media airwaves at that time. As I struggled with my racial identity, the Huxtables reminded me there was nothing to struggle with. I didn't have to accept what MTV and the 5 o'clock news was telling me about my skin colour and my destiny. No, the Huxtables held the torch of excellence and high standards for me. They brilliantly managed to transcend race altogether. ...And the Huxtable women! They were strong, intelligent, classy female characters that I aspired to emulate. They gave me another perspective on being a woman and also informed my personal story.

I've always kept my eye on you, Mr. Cosby, to observe all of the good you were doing for the world. Your standards followed you where ever you went, as you refused to speak nothing but proper English, without the vulgarity and crudeness of most stand-up comedians. As an educator, you made me feel proud of my role and the privilege I had to teach the inner city children of Detroit. I was behind you when received backlash from the black community about your unorthodox way of communicating higher standards for black children:

They’re standing on the corner and they can’t speak English.
I can’t even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain’t,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be…
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it’s important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can’t be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.
People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we’ve got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.
$500 sneakers for what?
And they won’t spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2?
Where were you when he was 12?
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn’t know that he had a pistol?
And where is the father? Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn’t that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn’t that a sign of something?
Isn’t it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from??
We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don’t know a thing about Africa …..
I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.
I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don’t have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! !
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ……… And all of them are in jail.
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person’s problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different ‘husbands’ — or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can’t write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard..
We cannot blame the white people any longer.’
~Dr.. William Henry ‘Bill’ Cosby, Jr., Ed..D.

Can I negate the positive influence you have been in my life? Absolutely not. Thank you for sharing your light, your wisdom and higher vision. But it appears, there is some darkness you must also address.  By doing so, you will not undo the good that you have done or will continue to do. Good can come from this, too, Mr. Cosby.

No human being can escape the universal law of cause and effect. The visible effects may not return to the owner in this lifetime, but it doesn't mean the effects are not there. The fact that the effects of your actions have returned to you while you still are alive is a blessing in disguise. You have an opportunity to right a wrong. All actions are witnessed: your consciousness and the consciousness of the now-grown-girls who have spoken have all witnessed the truth. When truths emerge out of darkness to meet, the waves either merge or crash into each other. If the truths merge, a new cause will be created. There will be healing; not just for the girls, but for all victims of sexual assault who have been suffering in silence. There will be healing for you as well, for only one's own suffering can cause him to exploit and harm another human being for his own pleasure. The nature and truth of that suffering will be for you to discover if you wish to turn your circumstances around. Of course, there are consequences to face; a falling out and a disintegration of the Bill Cosby that stands before us today, but on the other side of this disaster is peace for the victims and the emergence of man who has reconciled his wrong doings. 

Please Mr. Cosby, I ask that you do the right thing, despite the difficulties that lie ahead in doing so. Speak the truth. Own it. Walk the fire of consequences and take the journey of a true hero, you can only become a better human being in doing so. Your story is not just about you and these girls. It's about the human race and the multitude of ways we abuse and hurt each other. You have been given a great opportunity to make the biggest impact you will ever make on this earth. Seize it with sincerity and humility. Truth is the only way. 

I wish you all the courage in the world.

Much Peace,
Chantelle Diachina