India Bound

My bags are packed and all of the necessary arrangements have been made to ensure the life I will be stepping away from temporarily will run as smoothly as possible. In two days I leave for India... by myself. The only travel companion I will have will be Gandhi... well, more like his autobiography that I plan on finishing over the 22 hour flight.

I have to admit, until a few days ago I was extremely excited and confident about going, but as my departure date draws nearer, the reality of being so far away from my husband and children is beginning to sink in. I've been hugging them tighter and longer, while catching myself choking back tears at the thought of going. My relief is found in knowing they will be joining me three weeks after I leave– and what a reunion that will be! I also have concerns about my mother, who isn't quite comfortable yet living in a city where I am her only connection. How will she fair? But this is life and this is being human– it means I love and I am loved.

I also know that this will be a life changing experience. I am not going to be the same person when I return back to Canada. Three weeks of ashram, monastic life will be enlightening, challenging, rewarding and frightening. I've done it before during my first yoga teacher training, but that was in Florida; although it still took me six weeks to fully reintegrate into daily life when I returned home and I wasn't even in India! To be so close to the source of yoga while studying and experiencing it will be a game changer for sure.

Once those three weeks are over and my family joins me, the four of us will be touring around south India for another three weeks. We hope you join us on this Indian adventure by following our blog: diachinatravels.wordpress.com I will be posting every chance I get from the moment I leave, although I'm not sure how much access to the internet I will have while in the ashram.

As a result of this great expedition, there will be no post at Never Water A Weed for the month of December. In the meantime, I hope you have a joyful, loving holiday season. Please stay close to the Christmas Spirit.

Much Love & Peace,
Chantelle

Inspiration is Just Around the Corner

She's been walking by our house for more than a month now, but today we are ecstatic for her.

"MOM!!! COME LOOK!!! SHE'S WALKING ALL BY HERSELF!!!"

 I know exactly whom my daughters are referring to. I run into our dining room and stand behind my girls, who have their noses pressed up against the window. There she is... walking slowly on the sidewalk across the street. I'm sure she's still in pain, but she is free and clear. Nothing supporting her except for her husband, who has been by her side for every walk and is now walking a good three feet in front of her.

Before August, we had never seen this woman before. She kind of showed up out of the blue one day with a walker and some bandages wrapped around her right leg. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail and the lines on her middle-aged face showed she wasn't at all enthusiastic about going for a walk, but her husband was there, walking just a slow as she, helping her through the pain. When they made it to the front of our house, they paused and pointed with smiles on their faces. Maybe they were admiring our renovations or perhaps there was a side show being performed the local squirrels; for whatever reason she noticed us and we noticed her and that's when her story began to unfold for us.

For weeks they walked by our house, each time we noted her progress and became more and more excited for her. We didn't have to know what the details of her story were. We saw her struggle, her determination, her progress and we were inspired. Over time we witnessed the walker turn into a cane and the cane turn into her husband. Then the day came when we saw she no longer had to walk arm in arm with her husband. We couldn't help but cheer. We were just so happy for her!

Our victory cheer had to come to an end by the necessity of having to leave for gymnastics. The girls and I piled into our car and backed out of the driveway. As we approached this special woman and her husband, I slowed down to a pause and rolled down the window.

"Excuse me!" I shouted. "I just wanted to let you know that my girls and I have been watching you walk by our house week after week and we are so proud of your progress. You have really been inspiring to us. We're big fans!"

Her face lit up. She brought her hand to her chest. "REALLY??? OH! THANK YOU!"

All the while, her husband proudly looked on with a smile on his face. They continued on their way and we continued on ours.

 Yes, she has inspired me. Actually, both her and her husband have inspired me. He made her healing journey his journey as well, but clearly it was her pain. She had to challenge it and persevere while holding a vision of healing... and she succeeded. We couldn't imagine her walking by herself. In fact, it would seem foolish. Clearly, challenges seem smaller when we have someone who cares by our side. She showed my girls the value of never giving up, no matter how difficult it may seem and the true meaning of victory. She also taught us that we just never know how overcoming our own obstacles can inspire others who are watching.

5 Tips on Surviving the Marathons of Life

For some people it may seem their whole life is a marathon; one crisis after another. Others may go for a few years or a whole decade before a major crisis hits. One thing is for sure, no one experiences their entire life as a walk in the park.

We never sign up for these periods of chaos and upset in our lives, but they are inevitable. Unlike a marathon you voluntarily sign up for, there is no telling where the course will end or how far out the finish line is for a marathon of life.

2013 is turning out to be a run of uncertainty for most of my immediate family. Sometimes our courses overlap and other times we're completely on our own as various crises show up– all of which are here to teach and help us grow, but it's not always easy to remember the higher purpose of these moments.

I still manage to have a smile on my face (at least a couple times throughout the day!) and my feet keep moving, so I must be doing something right. Here's what has been working for me; hopefully you will find these tips helpful for you as well:

Tip #1: Drink LOTS of alcohol. NOT!!! Although I did have one too many glasses of wine with a girlfriend one evening. We laughed, we cried... and it was less expensive than seeing a psychologist. (See #5)

Okay... here is what I REALLY recommend: 

#1 Stay alert.  Don't close your eyes and moan and groan. When you close your eyes you miss the reasons to be happy and they are always reasons to be happy. It may be as simple as feeling the warmth of the sun on your face or a friendly hello from a stranger or the fact that you have food in your belly... those little "gifts" are like little packets of energy that will keep you going when you feel like your legs are about to give out.

#2 Bend but don't break.  Even though you may have a plan or a vision of how things are going to turn out, you have to be humble enough to accept that you don't have all of the answers. It may even mean throwing out your plan and learning as you go.

#3 Rest. Make time to get to bed at a decent time so you can get a good night's sleep. Sometimes sleep just isn't happening, in which case, Ujayi breath is a great remedy. Take naps if you can. Schedule quiet time when you can be alone and do absolutely nothing. Lie down and just be.

#4 Keep your sense of humour.  Sometimes this may require an "out of body experience"– you know... watching the situation unfold from an outsider's perspective. I've had many moments where the absurdity of the situation would have made for great sitcom material.  It's not always fun being the character, but it's funny to watch. If that isn't working for you, go watch a funny movie instead. A good belly laugh with friends will also do you some good.

#5 Get help. This time around, I decided to see a psychologist to help me keep a sense of clarity. I find talking to someone who doesn't know me or any of the people in my life is safe. She can challenge me, affirm valid feelings and provide a fresh perspective. She also draws great diagrams to explain things. I think I have a girl crush... 

Help can also come from people you know who have been through similar situations and are willing to share their wisdom. This is a primal instinct when you think about it. When we lived in tribes and clans we used to have a whole village to lean on. It takes a little more effort in modern times, but crisis can remind us of our connection to others and the common struggles we all share.

 And when all else fails... breathe.

A Change of Fate.

Do you believe in fate? I do, but probably not in the way you may think. I believe every single human life has an infinite number of possible destinies (or in more practical terms, "possible outcomes") existing in any given moment. Who we are within determines which life story we are most aligned with and will therefore experience. In other words, as long as we continue to change within, the life we will experience externally will also change. I will be turning 40 this year, yet I feel I've had many lives within those years. As I continue to change, each 'life' keeps getting better.  This is why I believe our destiny is not in the stars, but in our hands. 

Once we make a shift within and become the person that deserves a non-toxic relationship, a better job, a healthier lifestyle, etc., it will take some time before our external life can catch up and we see the results we've been waiting for. That's because the crystallized shift within will be meeting the resistance of the life we currently live. It's a storyline based on who we were before the shift, so please don't get discouraged by the mismatch.

 When your external world does start to finally shift, things are going to fall apart or rather, "disassemble" for a while so your life can rearrange. (Wink. This is experience talking) You might become sick, your marriage may fall apart, your friends may disappear... the ways life can become messy are truly endless. As painful as this process is, see it as a sign of progress– as your story (or your fate) being revised and rewritten. Try not to rush it. There is so much to learn as you navigate your way through all of the discomfort while wearing a big ol' blindfold. Instead, be still. Don't make any big movements. Grow wiser and stronger. Resist the urge to turn around and seek the comfort and familiarity of your old life. All kinds of excuses will entice you to go back to the way things were and if you succumb, the whole process will shut down and chronic internal suffering (a.k.a. Hell) will be all that you gain. Is that how you really want to live?

The final stage is redemption. All that you have waited for has arrived. No... it's more like you have arrived to all that has always been waiting for you.
Namaste.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

photo credit: stock.xchng

Maya Angelou once wrote an autobiography by the same title– a fascinating book that you should read if you haven't already, but that isn't what inspired this post.

No, it was reading the following words from Buddhist monk, Nichiren Daishonin:

"When a caged bird sings, birds who are flying in the sky are thereby summoned and gather around, and when the birds flying in the sky gather around, the bird in the cage strives to get out."

It is the amount of truth in this metaphor that renders its power. The "truth" being that if we can just stay close to our true nature, if we can continue to uplift others and create beauty despite our own suffering or limitations, our courage will be inspired and strengthened so we may break free and improve our own life circumstances.

And even when we are not aware of our substandard life– because a cage may be all we've ever known– if we continue to strive to add value to the world around us, new possibilities will come into view. They will inspire and motivate us to stretch beyond our current way of being, until one day we have found a way out of our cage... out of our small lives... allowing us to experience a freedom we've never known before, turning our ignorance into a spectacle for us to observe.

And the ones who are free... they are bound to the ones who are not. The joy they feel as their wings spread and carry them to new lands is never taken for granted. It is something they cannot withhold from others. All they need is to hear a song from a cage.

Your Mother is Your First Guru

Those are words I will never forget. I first heard them in 2007, while studying under Shri Yogi Hari. As a fairly new mother of two children, it was like music to my ears, but what struck me most was I had a new perspective on my mother. In the past, I had focused all of the things she didn't "know" and the challenges I faced with my mother throughout my teen and early adult years.  In what ways was my mother my wise, spiritual teacher?

Truthfully, she really didn't talk too much about "God" to me, in part because her 1950's strict Catholic education left a bad taste in her mouth. Although I did once convince her and my dad to take me to a Baptist church for a couple of years, but the "no dancing" rule and general hypocrisy of fellow churchgoers became a turn off and we stopped.

No, my spiritual journey was self directed... or was it?

My mother taught me a lot explicitly:

No matter what you accomplish, you are never better than anyone.
Share.
Be helpful to the elderly.
Education first. Boys later.
It's okay to fail, as long as you did your best. 
Read.
Always better yourself.
Try different things. 
Don't listen to what the other kids say. You be your own person.

But as I deeply reflect back on my childhood years, I think her best teachings came through her Being:

My mother was slow to anger.
She was patient. It always amazed me how she could wait in the longest line up and never become restless. EVER.
She was playful and often joked around with me.
She taught me it was okay to cry. "Get it all out"  she would say to me in moments of distress.
She loved me well. Cuddles. Hugs. Kisses. She would always say to me "I love you more than life itself." As a grown woman, I can say,  I believe her. 

It has been decades since I've been able to be with my mother for Mother's Day because of her strict work schedule, but today I will be able to honour my first guru, as you do the same for yours.

Happy Mother's Day.

Boston. Peace.

Photo courtesy of intent.com

Each and every day and night
I so praise the lot of human beings–
when they direct their mind eternally to good,
they are eternally beautiful and majestic.

-Goethe, "Dornburg, September 1828"



There are more good human beings in the world than bad.
I will not be fearful of my brothers and sisters. Ever.
I will not become cynical or desensitized to violence. Ever.
I will cry when other humans suffer and when we create such evil works.
As long as I cry, I know my hunger for peace will grow stronger
and my life will be full of purpose.
I keep my gaze on the space between these acts of violence
because this is where our Truth as human beings lie.
I see what Goethe sees. Always.

Have a Little Faith

When you have faith, the sun is always shining.

Faith is more than "believing" in something.  It is confidence and trust mixed together. To thrive in life, we have to know we are competent and know we will follow through without fail, even if it means overcoming obstacles. We make things difficult for ourselves when we become unsure of what our strengths are and/or we neglect to hold ourselves accountable for our lack of determination. Sometimes we put too much faith in others and not enough in ourselves. A lot of the time, we lack faith in the mysteries of life; the mysteries that bring the right person, the right circumstance, the right everything so you may thrive.

The culprit of lacking faith has to do with "the plan". Having a plan isn't a bad thing, just don't develop tunnel vision around it. Like a yogi on the mat, or a ship set to sea, you have to be prepared to adapt, adjust and modify as situations arise. Some situations may slow you down, others may expose you to new and unexpected experiences. At those times when you feel lost and fear begins to set in, go to your safe place where you can release your emotions and then emerge full of faith; with confidence and trust that you AND the mysteries of life are both competent and will follow through without fail. Even if it means overcoming obstacles. 

A Shout Out to rtraction

It's been almost a month since I've left rtraction, but I feel like I've never left. I'm still gleaning the gems from working at such a dynamic organization, which is why I want to say...

Thank you rtraction
For being big on ideas
and not shying away when ideas are big
For making play just as important as work
(and making shoes optional)
For showing me that anything is possible
when you have the right people with the same vision
and that failure is okay (to a point) ...just don't give up
That social media really is social (you can't fake it)
That leadership doesn't have to be hierarchal
and organizations can give beyond a dollar amount
That each employee matters and to play to her strengths
For demonstrating the importance of adapting and adapting again
For exposing me to the unforgiving pressure of D E A D L I N E S
and to the genius of Seth Godin
To have one foot in boldness and the other in humility.
Thank you for reminding me to stay true to your craft.

Thank you rtraction
for all of this and more. 

Life Under Construction

It's not uncommon once you start a small home renovation project that it suddenly turns into something much larger than what you had in mind and your level of discomfort increases tenfold. Your intentions may have been to put in new kitchen cabinets and suddenly walls are being knocked down, new windows are being put in and you are suddenly living in a rather big mess. And that, my friends, is how life goes. 

Typically, when I initiate change, I like to take time to make sure I'm certain it is what I want, which is what I did in response to the strong inner pull I had been feeling to do something with my three passions: yoga, teaching and inspiring people. In late November, I made the decision to leave my position as client relations manager at rtraction to pursue my own venture. In December, with the blessing of my husband, I made the announcement at work. But sometimes, life has it's own idea of what change should look like.

A month before I made the decision to change careers (again) my mother, who had surgery on her back last summer and can no longer work, was put in a position of having to find a new place to live by February 1st. Being that she lived alone and was 2 hours away, I felt the best thing for her would be to move closer to me.

Christmas came and my incredibly resilient mother-in-law began to succumb to the stage IV breast cancer that had been in her body for the last 4 years.  On January 19, my mother-in-law passed away. My husband and I were with her when she took her last breath and the cancer left but a shadow of her body. My husband, whose father died five years ago and who also lost his only brother in a car accident, is now the only living member of his nuclear family.

Like everyone else who experiences the death of a loved one, we took whatever energy we had left to plan a service in less than a week. The day before the service, on January 25th, we drove to Windsor, in a snow storm to move my mother to London; a date that was planned at the end of November. We moved her things into storage and she is now settled in with us until she begins receiving disability benefits, which, fingers crossed, should be early spring.

January 29 was my last day at rtraction. On January 30, I became an entrepreneur developing her business set to launch in September.

And that my friends, is how life goes. One little flap of a butterfly wing creates an unforgiving tornado that sweeps through your life and changes everything. And do you know what I think? I think it's the BEST THING EVER. To me, it is a sign of major transformation for my husband, my mother, my children, and myself. Will life in 2013 be challenging for us? Absolutely. Will it be scary at times? Absolutely. In times like these, I like to focus on the fantastic outcomes. For when the caterpillar enters the chrysalis and everything goes black and its body turns to goo, that's when the mystery enters and we just have to trust that it will know how to rebuild us in ways even we couldn't imagine for ourselves. Yes, these are exciting times for my family. And if I pay attention, there will be gifts around every corner waiting to reveal themselves along the way. 

And while we're at it, we are going to do some home renovations. What the hell... might as well keep the momentum going!