An Adventure Awaits...

I have dreamed of traveling to far-off distant lands for many years. It's one of those things I wish I did in my 20s– before marriage and kids. For whatever reason, seeing the world wasn't on my radar until my mid-twenties when my husband's best friend, who had recently graduated from his Master's program, decided to spend a year backpacking alone through Asia. There was something about those post cards we received from him that were so intriguing to me: reading his handwritten words that described his experiences, noting the colours and lines of the exotic stamp, and as strange as it sounds, I would even smell the postcards to see if I could catch a faint scent of what these places smelled like. It was Sean's journey that planted "one day" in my mind.

Of all the post cards we received it was the one from Thailand that planted the biggest seed... he called it "paradise". Sean wrote about sleeping on the beach in the most beautiful, rustic accommodations. He claimed to have found the best shrimp he had ever tasted (I LOVE shrimp!) and how there was nothing better than eating a fresh mango. What he couldn't get over was how ridiculously inexpensive everything was. I was sold. I knew that "one day" I would visit Thailand.

During Sean's year away I distinctly remember having a conversation with a family friend around a campfire about my intentions to travel. Her response was "you better do it before kids". I remember looking directly at her and saying, "no, my kids will come with me". She just smiled at me with a look in her eye that assured me it wouldn't happen.

Here we are, nearly 15 years later and we're finally making the trek and guess what? My kids are coming with me. Yes, this is going to be a family adventure. It took a year of my husband and I researching online, talking to people, reading travel guides, learning to speak Thai*, saving money and now we're ready for an experience of a lifetime.

This will be a trip we have put together– no travel agents, no resorts. We anticipate great memories to come out of it and would love for you to tag along. Some of you may have noticed the new "Family Adventure" tab at the top of this page. We'll be posting frequent updates here along with photos (and maybe footage) for you to follow us along on this special journey, which begins December 5th.

Life... is... good.



*We have a feeling no one is going to understand us when we speak it.

Occupy London: If You Don't Like Sleeping in a Tent...

Occupy Wall Street Protester

 The Occupy movement has taken a hit in London last week. How they move forward will determine whether or not Occupy London fizzles and fades completely or transforms into a force to be reckoned with. I think Larry Cornies has very succinctly summed up the way I feel about the whole movement in London, so I won't bother to try to say it all again in my own words. I do know that if I were in NYC I would've joined the protest being that Wall Street is one of the main arteries of corruption in the U.S. and globally –although I probably would've only lasted a week before I became restless and felt like I needed to see some progress and then wandered off trying to find a way to make it happen. I guess I'm impatient that way.

However, I do believe all of the Occupy protests serve a purpose and need to happen.  Every angle needs to be covered if we are to create lasting change. Protesting is necessary, activism is necessary, education is necessary, informed personal choices are necessary. Above all else, dialogue is necessary. It won't happen over night, but if we're relentless, change is inevitable.

I've been asking myself, what can I do to contribute to the Occupy movement? I can: stop participating in things that are contributing to the problems we're trying to put an end to and start supporting the things I would like to see be a part of the world we're all trying to create. No, I'm not part of a mob when I do it, but it's still effective. I know you also have a vision of a better world, but what are you willing to do to make it a reality in your personal life?

As I continue to take action upon action toward making my vision a reality, my life continues to transform. The twenty-something I used be no longer resembles who I am now. Never would I think I would stop eating fast-food and drastically reduce the amount of meat I eat or get rid of Javex, Tide, Vim, Glade ( etc., etc., etc.) for natural household alternatives. I do need to start walking and riding my bike more and I know I will because everything I do means I'm breaking a cycle and contributing to something better. It takes patience and effort to create a new habit, but I'm committed. That's how I plan to Occupy Earth.


If it's the environment you're concerned about, what are you doing to stop harmful chemicals from the commercial products you use to no longer go down your drain or pollute the air in your house or seep into your skin? If you buy it, they will make it.

If it's community, when is the last time you have volunteered? Got to know your neighbours? Spoke to your councillor? Joined a grassroots initiative that was working to create positive change? If you knock on the door, someone will answer it.

If it's the corporations you are going after, why not turn your attention to local businesses instead?

Last week on Twitter, J.D. owner of P'lovers tweeted about the 3/50 project which is a simple action we can all take. Pick 3 local businesses and spend $50 at each of them each month. The economical and ecological impact is worth it. And although I'm not physically at the Occupy protest in our city, this is one of the many ways I choose to show that I agree something has got to change with how our world operates. It's something we can all do and with the Christmas shopping blitz in full effect, what better time to start than now?

If you go to the 3/50 project page they ask you to think about the three independently owned businesses you couldn't live without. I have more than three that I like to spend my money at, but here are my top picks:

P'lovers
Curiosities Gift Shop
Jaydancin



What three independently owned businesses would you not be able to live without? I would love to hear from you so I can discover new treasures to support in our city and thereby also support sustainability, fair trade and eco-conscious production.

I would also like to hear some of the actions you have been taking to create the world the Occupy movement is making space for. The more we share, the more we learn. I look forward to your positive and creative suggestions.

Whatever social issue or problem you would like to see change, there is something you can do about it now, so get busy!

P.S. Complaining doesn't count.

Yoga in All the Right Places

Recently, my friend and mala bead maven Diana Charabin of Tiny Devotions joined me at the gym for one of my yoga classes. Afterward she blogged about it and Diana was right, the environment was noisy... at first.  As she also mentioned, the noise eventually faded away and all that was left was us practicing our asanas together.

I'm not going to lie –a fitness gym is not the "ideal" environment to be practicing yoga in. Personally, I prefer to practice in one of the beautiful studios at the Downtown Holistic Yoga Centre with my favourite teacher, Ajith –whenever I get the chance, that is.

So why do I teach yoga at the gym? Well, as Diana wrote, the gym is where my love of yoga began. Ten years ago, I happened to watch Late Show with David Letterman and Madonna was being interviewed. I listened to her talk about her new passion for yoga and then watched as she twisted herself into scorpion pose. That was enough for me to walk into my first yoga class at the gym I belonged to at the time. I was far from a believer. I just wanted to be ripped like Madonna, not sitting in lotus pose chanting "OM". But my beautiful teacher, Kiran, introduced me to the artful practice of yoga and it changed my life in more ways than I could ever anticipate. What made it even more a of a pleasant surprise was I didn't see it coming. I just thought I was attending another group exercise class. After all, yoga was just stretching, right?

My yoga practice has been such a gift in my life that I vowed I would share it with others who would be as least suspecting as I was, which is why I teach yoga at the gym. As far as I can tell, people who take their practice seriously enough to go to a studio are already familiar with the depths of what yoga can offer. I find no joy in preaching to the choir; I'd rather open the door that leads to a studio experience. Teaching at the gym gives me a front row seat where I can have the pleasure of watching men and women transform into yogis. It also allows me the privilege of putting my practice to the test as I apply this pearl of wisdom: find inner peace amidst chaos and you'll be able to find peace anywhere.

Namaste.

The Thanksgiving Way

October is a special month for Londoners in particular. Not only do we get to indulge in Thanksgiving feasts, but we also get to live in a consciously kinder community, thanks to LUSO's 1000 Acts of Kindness. (If you're stumped on how to be kind, let the crew I work with help you out!) We have beautiful trees putting on a colourful display for each of us to take in (with more on the way thanks to Reforest London) and community members who will be doing what they can to raise awareness about homelessness on World Homeless Action Day (Oct. 10). Yes, I'd say we have a lot to be thankful for.

There's a beautiful quote by Jacqueline Winspear that reminds me of the true essence of gratitude: "Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It's a way to live." Grateful people are happy people and Thanksgiving isn't a holiday, it's every day.

Do such people exist? Well, you'll know you are in the presence of a grateful person if at any time or place you can ask her what she is grateful for and she can rhyme off a list of blessings. To her, "thank you" is not something you say, it's something you do: thank you is appreciating all that she has been given, good and bad, the bad often making the good so much sweeter. For him,  "thank you" is the powerful action of receiving. Once he has received his gift, he takes it and carefully– very carefully– places it in a special place in his mind, along with all of his other blessings, never to be forgotten. That is the secret to his happiness. That is to the secret to her generosity. Ironically, it's because of receiving that grateful people give... and so it goes: thanks, give, thanks, give, thanks....

What do you have to be thankful for? Have you merely paid it lip service with a "thank you" or have you really received it? October is a great month to start a daily gratitude journal. There's nothing better than just before drifting off to sleep to make a list of at least five gifts you have been given on that particular day. It could be as simple as appreciating the warmth a hot cup of tea offers on a chilly autumn morning or being able to have another go at this thing called life. Whatever it is, I hope you receive it and then begin to share it. This is the Thanksgiving way.

Did Somebody Say "BANANA"?

   

 As uncomfortable bananas have come to make us all feel lately, I say it's a good sign. 50 years ago, a hockey game with a black player probably would have had more than one banana thrown on the ice. Today's reaction to the September 22 incident makes a clear statement about our progress on racial issues and I'd say overall we're heading in a good direction. Although, London Free Press Reporter Morris Dalla Costa raises a good point...

What's disturbing to me is the culprit who threw the banana is 26 years old. I had imagined someone older who could've at least used a generational perspective as an excuse, but a Gen Y who seems to be interested in becoming a police officer? What gives? Okay, I suppose his argument could be he was just throwing a piece of fruit at a hockey player (oh wait... that is the argument he's using) Okay, so if it was an 'innocent' mistake– and by innocent I mean he had no awareness whatsoever of the racial implications of his actions until the post-game fallout– I think it's up to him to make a public statement on his innocence, the learning he has acquired as a result of his actions and apologize for unintentionally offending people and shaming our community. Then this whole thing is over and we can move on.

I had a similar situation in our own family not so long ago. It happened during our camping trip at Moon River. There were four of us sitting around the camp fire: my husband, myself and the other couple that were with us. My husband commented about the red bandana I was wearing on my head, saying I looked like Aunt Jemima. In the past, I would've laughed, but unfortunately for him, that night my reaction wasn't so predictable. Somewhere deep at my core, I had had enough. It wasn't him, it was the innumerable other comments and remarks I've internalized from since I could remember. All those other times I didn't say anything because I thought "if I ignore it, it will go away" or  "If I laugh, then it won't bug me." But that night it bugged me and I couldn't even fake a smile. I don't think anything could have prepared my husband or the other couple we were with for the 'passionate' discussion that took place that night. They learned the truth behind Aunt Jemima and heard how tired I was of listening to people, who aren't reminded about their race or ethnicity by others on a regular basis,  professing "it was just a joke" or "they didn't mean" to be offensive with the way they talk about visible minorities.  What is seen as one comment to the offender, is one of hundreds, even thousands of accumulated comments to the offended.... Phew! Imagine if you were there! I'll tell you one thing, no one who was there that night looks at Aunt Jemima the same. And I'll tell you another... we are all able to laugh and even joke about it now; that's because even in that uncomfortable situation, there was learning in it for all of us and we walked away with a deeper respect for each other. 

We don't always understand how we offend each other, but once we do, the respectful thing is to acknowledge it. Then everyone can move on. Drawing this banana-throwing incident out in the courts has the incredible potential to create more damage than good.

Philidelphia Flyers player, Wayne Simmonds was quoted as saying "I don't know if it had anything to do with the fact I'm black," he added. "I certainly hope not. When you're black, you kind of expect [racist] things. You learn to deal with it." This isn't good enough for me. Not anymore. It'll take time and I probably won't live to see the day, but I am committed to creating a better version of humanity and thanks to the "banana incident" I know I'm not the only one.

Hey Box Head!

After only being an ear shot away the entire day while my children were playing with their good friends from across the street, I couldn't help but notice my oldest daughter was showing signs of overbearing behaviour towards the others. I called her over and told her to meet me upstairs in her room. I got there first and laid across her bed. My daughter entered soon after with her arms crossed.

"Your body language is exactly how you are showing up in the world today. Come sit down," I say to my pouting child. "Jasmine, I've noticed everyone has become quiet around you. They're not sharing their ideas because you've become bossy. Listen and you can hear them downstairs right now talking freely and enjoying themselves while you are up here with me."

And there, in the background, were happy little voices chattering away while working on building a fort made of blankets.

"It seems to me that you've been carrying around a little box in your head today," I continue.

Jasmine just looks at me with the same sulking face she had before I started talking.

"The name of that box is 'This Day Will Go My Way' and you've been working hard to make sure everything fits perfectly inside that box– even your friends. It's making you miserable and it's making your friends miserable. Which do you think everyone will enjoy more, you wishing everyone has a good time or you taking care of the little box in your head?"

"Wishing everyone has a good time," she replies.

BINGO!! And with a little more talking, Jasmine was able to shift her attitude and even thank me before returning to her friends.

I tell you this because it's tempting to have a "This Day Will Go My Way" box in your mind. In yoga, this would be an example of living with attachment. In this case, the attachment is to outcomes and it causes great stress and suffering in our daily lives and in the lives of others.

Many Eastern philosophies talk about the practice of non-attachment. Instead of a box, think of a lump of warm clay that you can give a basic shape to, but don't worry about getting into too many details of what the finished product will look like. You always have to leave a little room for universal chaos to sculpt your clay as well. In this way, you are co-creating, not controlling. It may seem like a lot of work to continually adapt, adjust and modify, but it's actually less and you (and your friends, co-workers, family and partner) will be much happier for it.

Namaste.

One Question

Who are you? Who are you really? The way you may define yourself may not be defining who you are at all, but rather the story of yourself. You may start by saying your name (nice, but did you choose it?) You may state your occupation or job title (you do realize you can be unemployed at any given moment, don't you?) You may share your relationships– like the number of siblings you have, married or single, with or without children (even these precious ties can be severed or randomly extinguished)

Many of the things you define yourself by are actually roles that you experience, not who you are. My name is Chantelle and I experience being a woman, a mother, a wife, and so on, but this is not who I am. Even my body is like a robe that I have donned during this existence, but who is experiencing all of this? It is the same thing experiencing life as a homeless man, a rock star, a saint and a pedophile– perhaps different levels of consciousness, but still the same thing. Call it mind, spirit, wild or natural it's always there running in the background and it connects us all.

If you spend the time to define yourself by what you are truly not, you become closer to what you truly are. And what that is is what the world craves most. It's what the world needs most.

Quiet contemplation with my youngest daughter

Here's a song by Lotus Theory, an indie band from London, Ontario, Canada to help you get started. And if you require a little more inspiration, listen to Indian philosopher Krishnamurti on the subject of who you are.  The path you take to get there is up to you... All I ask is you take the journey.

It's Big, It's Grey... and It's Yours.

We all have something in our lives that we would call an elephant: it's that one big thing we would love to do, but make a million excuses not to do it. There's major risk involved. A lot of hard work is required; maybe more than we've ever been asked of ourselves. Do you fear the elephant?

4 years ago, I decided to leave the profession of teaching to pursue... Ha! I didn't know and to some degree I still don't! But I had enough reasons back then to make the move. Now, don't get me wrong... it took two years of consideration and uncertainty before coming to that point, but it certainly prepared me for the raised eye brows and head shaking I got when I made the announcement. "Are you nuts? Summers off, a great pension... why would you give that up?" "What about all of your education? You're just going to let that go to waste?"

What seemed like a hasty decision to others, was actually well thought out. I mean, I had two years of behind-the-scenes contemplation. The one truth I couldn't surpress was no longer being happy in my career. Too many underprivileged kids were falling through the cracks. From what I could see, education was becoming a business and children where being treated like cardboard cut-outs. I knew with every ounce of my body I needed to make a change, but I was scared as hell to do it. I worried about what other people would think. I worried about what I would "do" next, but regardless the pain pushed me out of teaching and miraculously my happiness moved me forward.

Happiness asked me "What do you REALLY love to do? What are you REALLY good at? What are YOUR gifts to share?" Then something bigger asked me "Why are you here?" That last question I'm still trying to answer in greater detail, but in general I've come to answer it as "to live in joy and to leave the earth and humanity better than when I arrived".

Now that I'm on the other side, I often look back at how much I agonized over making that decision and I always smile with relief. My life has been nothing short of amazing and it just keeps on getting better. Increased community involvement, television appearances - even co-hosting a series (that not even I could watch because I'm not a cable subscriber), meeting a multitude incredible people and working for a company that cares.

Trying to leave the earth and humanity better than when I arrived is a BIG elephant, but like the saying goes, the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at time. And... in hindu tradition, Ganesh is a deity resembling an Elephant, also known as a destroyer of obstacles. If that's so, how can something be an obstacle and an obstacle remover? Looks like an opportunity to me.

Special thanks to Aaron Robb, who challenged me to write a blog post that included the words "fear the elephant".  I promised to do it if his next blog post included the words "in the babbling brook". My mission has been completed :)

It's Becoming a Blur

Rushed home from work. Missed the school bus by three mins. Picked up Jasi from neighbour's (and best friend) - luckily husband Jeff was home. Quickly (and graciously) said thank you. Said goodbye and Jasi and I were off to pick up Aislinn at school.

Jasmine looked at me and said, "Mom, why did you say 'Love You!' to Jeff?"

"I did?"

"Yes! You said "Goodbye! Love You!" She was clearly confused.

Well that was awkward; for two reasons...  First– I don't love Jeff! I mean he's a great guy and I admire him, but he's my best friend's husband! I guess I do love him, but not in that way. Second reason– if I am unconscious enough to say that without realizing it, what else have I been saying?

Luckily that conversation ended with both of us laughing at how ridiculous it was for me to be in that much of a rush that I was throwing the "L-word" around. But in my mind, I'm thinking has saying 'I love you' become an automated script? Where's the meaning in that?

45 minutes later, the kids and I are at home, chasing each other around in the backyard and enjoying the weather. We come inside to start homework. I walk to the back door and glance once more at the backyard.

"OH MY GOSH!!" I yell to the kids.

"WHAT???" they yell back.

"THE DAFFODILS HAVE BLOOMED!!!" I'm really excited about this. Aislinn joins me and says–

"I know."

"They were like that when we were out there playing a few minutes ago?" I ask.

"Yeah."

I shake my head. We were actually in the garden lifting rocks and looking for bugs and I didn't even notice the beautiful daffodils??? What else have I been missing?

It's clearly time to slow down enough to be present again. It doesn't matter how I got to this point. What matters is what I do next. Life doesn't have to be this way...

Love Thyself Like No Other

To My Daughters:

I will do my best to love you,
but in the end, no one will know how to love you like you.
Because I am your parent and you are my child
my best intentions will by your mind translate into false expectations
and an inner dialogue I would never wish upon you

And it will follow you, that dialogue, into every romantic relationship
but in the end, no one will know how to love you like you
You will play silly games, looking for another to fulfill you
all the while blinded to the ways you are loved because you know what
you need, but you won't give it to yourself

And you will grow frustrated, tempting to believe that you are unlovable
but in the end, no one will know how to love you like you
Then you will remember what I told you and correct that inner voice
 to sound like a mother, a sister, a best friend and a lover
 creating compassion within and opening your eyes to the self-love you've been missing


And one day, you will finally realize the Truth
That no one will love you like I love you

This is not YOUR life.

Humility is what you feel when you see others struggling in a life that was supposed to be yours. Grace is what you feel when you acknowledge you didn’t make it on your own, but with the help of so many others.

When you realize how far you’ve come, you also realize how much you owe.  It is the debt of gratitude that keeps you wondering: “Am I doing enough?”

Am I doing enough?