The Truth About Following Your Heart

"Follow your heart"...It's a theme woven throughout all forms of media, from billboards to children's movies, but what does it even mean? And how do you even know when your heart is speaking to you?

The most important place to start is knowing which heart you intend on following before you even think about accepting this ambiguously ambitious mission.

Wait... I have more than one heart?
 
Yes, well... if you include your physical heart, that would make three, but only one heart is the one you are actually supposed to follow and it's not the thumper in your chest.

Energetically speaking, you have what I would call two non-physical hearts: one belongs to your personality, the other to your spirit (or higher self). The heart of the personality is governed by desires and fueled by lies and insecurities. It's responsible for the impulse purchase of the shoes you had to have because they'll make you look more (you fill in the blank). It causes you to eat food not because we're hungry, but because it makes you feel (you fill in the blank)... you get the picture. Essentially, the heart of the personality has the maturity of a two year old and therefore happiness is intense, but fleeting and greatly dependent upon the impossible and dangerous quest of doing whatever it takes to keep baby happy. This heart will trick you every time into making detrimentally selfish moves that will erode your sense of self and stuff your closet with more skeletons than you can shake a bone at. You could say the heart of the personality is the maker of addictions, the director of extramarital affairs, and the conductor of debt; its mantra varies but includes "I want" "me... mine... I...". Clearly, if this is the heart you choose to follow, you will be heading for serious trouble.

"The heart of the personality is governed by desires and fueled by lies and insecurities."

The heart of the human spirit, however, is the complete opposite. It is governed by virtue and fueled by truth. It will have you asking the tough questions and facing the hard answers. It will lead you to purpose, meaning and ultimately to serving others. The spiritual heart will make you hungry for connection and community, helping you find your tribe, while remaining compassionate toward the rest of your human family. The heart of the spirit is knowing and wise, appreciating the value of time and persistence. It's transparent and sustainable because it's honest and generates it's own contentment. It has less of a variety of mantras, but a plethora of questions like "what will be the impact?" "is this the right thing to do?" or for "what will be for the highest and greatest good?"

Now don't get me wrong. The heart of the personality isn't something you need to try to get rid of. Rather, all it needs is a little structure and training so it can serve spiritual heart. There is only one "you" in body, personality, skills and talents that needs to be accurately expressed into the world. You are more than your superficial wants and needs. 

Dig Deep

 
The trouble with the heart of the personality is it has no weight of substance to keep it grounded. It's like a kite in the wind moving in whichever direction desire takes it; easy to get twisted in tangled in the least desirable of places or suddenly crash hard and without warning. It is vital to tame that recklessly wild heart by digging deep and anchoring it to all of the important life guiding stuff only accessible by knowing one's self. Successful heart-based voyagers know that following your heart is the disciplined art of staying aligned with your values and virtues.

When identifying values, it's important to go beyond the obvious. You may say family, but perhaps what you really mean is close, meaningful and loving relationships (or whatever other adjectives you would use to describe family). You may say career, but you may mean using my talent and skills in meaningful way and being fairly compensated for it. When we expand on the adjectives that describe what's important to us, the more we are able to be detailed about what truly enriches our lives, the more we can hold ourselves accountable for truly nurturing and protecting them. If you haven't spent a lot of time finding out what your values are and rooting yourself to them, you truly have nothing guiding you. 

Once you uncover your values, the next thing to explore are your virtues. Which characteristics denotes a person living a highly respectful life? Honesty? Compassion? Discernment? Patience? Persistence? List these virtues and memorize them. These will become the standards by which you measure yourself and if you fall short in any area, you willingly commit to working hard to further developing them. Virtues keep you honest with yourself and are the building blocks of character. It's pretty hard to cultivate the virtue of honesty when you are about to charge that 10-day cruise to your credit card when you know you don't have the money in your bank account and you are determined to be more responsible with money. A strong character has the ability to look herself in the eye while gazing in the mirror and feel proud of the person she is–not how she looks–  because she's able to keep the heart of the personality in check.

Give yourself a “time-out”

By now, you are probably beginning to understand that following your heart is not a free-for-all. On the contrary, it is a very disciplined approach to living because once you have identified your values and virtues, you now have your own policing system in place. The beauty of being self-governed is the satisfaction you feel when you know you've done the right thing, as difficult as it was, and you can happily and proudly answer to yourself. Not only does living this way take will power, it is a constant flow of conscious, deeply personal decisions that no longer have you seeking external approval, thereby moving your source of happiness within yourself. While you may envision free-spirited, follow-your-bliss kind of person always saying "yes", freedom of heart requires saying "no" much more frequently.
 
And when you find yourself off course, which is bound to happen from time to time, it's important to sit it out for a while so you can stop what has been set in motion. Misalignment means it's time to be still and quiet. It's a time to tune into your spiritual heart and listen so you can get back on track again. It's also a time to be kind to yourself and forgive the wrong turns you have taken, while vowing to do better. In essence, you are bringing the hearts of the personality and spirit back into harmony with each other, which will be extremely important when you find yourself lost for reasons beyond your own navigational skills.

Dead ends and obstacles are guaranteed
 
A lot of upsets, mistakes and failures are sure to be encountered on this path. Remember this: discouragement is the enemy. If your spiritual heart still desires it, then you have no choice but to find away over, through, around or under the obstacle. Never fall for "well... I guess the Universe is telling me it just isn't meant to be." Bullsh*t. If you give up and continue to dwell about it for days after, the disappointment you feel is your spiritual heart telling you to push on and get ready to learn and grow in the process. If you don't listen, you are signing yourself up to settle and suffer. On the other hand, if you can give up and not think twice about it, then it wasn't really that important to you in the first place or maybe the desire ran its course and it's time to move on.  

As far as the obstacles are concerned, they may seem to block you from where you want to go, but in reality they are the perfect opportunity to test your character and strengthen or gain some skills by taking a stand on what you value and expressing your virtues. If your two hearts are working together, you will find a way through the challenge, but not without exerting effort or ingenuity. The more situations you find yourself exercising these muscles, the stronger your character becomes. Then you'll see that following your heart isn't so much about the outcome as it is about how the process changes you for the better. These changes and victories over challenges are the secret sauce to gaining confidence in your ability to accomplish anything you put your mind to, on your terms.

Be resourceful
 
As Frank Baum wrote through the words of Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz, “You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself”.
Following your heart is not about pursuing, but expressing and building. You must know yourself to know what is seeking to be expressed.  I repeat... there is nothing out there to be pursued. It is simply channeling all of the experiences, skills and talents you already have and love using and expressing, with a healthy respect for the experiences, skills and talents yet to be discovered. Know what you are already good at, what you love doing so much that you could lose track of time while doing it and being paid to do it would be a bonus. It doesn't matter if the skills and talents are related, just know what is at your disposal. You never know how seemingly unrelated skills can be paired together to create a new opportunity for yourself or cleverly overcome obstacles; nothing is wasted on this path. And equally important is remaining curious about the latent aspects of yourself that are just waiting for the right timing and conditions to emerge. When you follow your true heart, you are armed with the strength, courage and wisdom to be able to face whatever comes your way, and will surely build a life you can be proud of.

Offended & Changing the World One Mindful Conversation at a Time.

Sooo... I was in the gym change room this morning and walked into a conversation happening beside my locker about black hair looking like brillo pads followed by laughter and suggestions on how to make it look "better". Can you guess what happened next?

The three senior women, yes, I said senior, were on either side of my locker. Normally, when conversations like this happen with people of older generations, I let it go. They come from a different era and are set in their ways, so why should I engage in a dialogue with them about race?  But this time was different. The problem is it's stereotypical of me to think this way and today the conversation represented a universal misuse of dialogue that poisons humanity and creates division. Laughing at the expense of others for something they cannot change or makes them diverse is not okay. Here's how the rest of the story went:

Me: (calmly) I'm sorry, but I find this conversation offensive.

An instant uproar ensued:

OH!! WHAT?! OFFENSIVE? WHY SHOULD YOU BE OFFENDED?
We weren't talking about YOU... it was someone on the t.v.. HAVE YOU SEEN HER HAIR?

A few heads have now turned in the dressing room.

Me: (still calm) Don't be offended because YOU offended ME. It doesn't matter if the person was on television or not, they're still a human being that doesn't need to be talked about like that and what you said is something black people hear a lot... I've heard it many times and it's offensive.

Lady #1: Yeah but... HAVE YOU SEEN HER HAIR??? No one looks normal with hair like that. It's like a round ball around her head and it bounces when she walks.

Me: (I think I may have used my yoga voice) Actually, in many black cultures hair like that is very normal.

Lady #2: Well, we weren't just talking about black people. Before that we were talking about a white guy who was wearing makeup.

Me: The problem is you're talking about people and maybe you should be a little more sensitive to how it affects them.

Silence. Two ladies leave.

The one right next to my locker is left and both of us pack our bags. I was busy breathing and mindfully putting my stuff inside my bag. Shaking inside, I was fighting the urge to stuff everything in and storm out. I forced myself to stand in the discomfort and be present. The Force was with me. I carefully closed my locker, turned to face the woman beside me and said:
"Have a nice day" (That time I really did use my yoga voice) We locked eyes. I sent her love vibes, she sent me daggers and wished me a good day as well and we parted ways.


I think there was some food for thought dished onto their plates today. One mindful conversation at a time we will change the world. I think I'll end it with the Ignite talk I did several years ago on the topic of race. It just seems appropriate today.

Let There Be Light!

Today was the first morning we woke up to lights since February 18th. My husband flicked them on and watched with pleasure as everyone else in our family cringed and recoiled in objection. The strong reaction came as the aftermath of a"40-day experiment". In the spirit of Lent, my family and I committed to giving up something we may find challenging to go without, which ended up being lights and screens from sunset to sunrise, with exception on the weekend, when we could watch movies by candlelight. We called it the "40 day experiment" to remove the constraints of religion, while still holding on to the principles and values that are good to practice for personal growth, regardless of religious belief.

 We stayed true to our self-induced sacrifice for 34 of the 40 days. When my eldest daughter politely asked if we had to go without lights during her sleepover birthday party, I decided creating embarrassing memories for her 12th birthday in the name of personal growth wouldn't be a good idea and we kept the lights on for day 17 and then let them stay on longer than usual for the rest of the weekend– days 18 & 19– so we didn't have to cook by candlelight... again.  We also took a break on days 27 to 29, as we didn't want to fuss with candles in a hotel room during our mini getaway to Toronto for March Break. Even at fulfilling 85% of our commitment, we all had plenty to take away from living by candle light:

Pro #1 It increases productivity. It's far easier to do anything with access to light. Knowing that time with light was limited, meant you got shit done. This was true for all of us. As far as kids go, time is really an abstract concept until they start tracking time by the sun. Our kids became very aware of time limits and self monitored getting things done in an urgent manner because they could literally see that we were running out of light to work in.


Con #1 It decreases the number of hours in a work day. Whatever didn't get done was pushed to the next day.


Insight #1: Having electric lights tricks us into thinking we have more time to do things. This can either make us procrastinate (like kids) or squeeze in a way more 'things to do' than we would historically do in a single day. This experiment has proven to me because of electricity we cram far too much in a day and are working way more than we should.

Pro #2 It slows you down. Since you are limited in what you can do by candlelight you eventually lose the desire to do more in the evening. Instead, you simply wind down from the day. You are no longer rushing around to get things done because you can't move quickly in the dark; unless you want to bonk into a wall, catch your toe on a piece of furniture or catch your hair on fire.

Con #2a Things take longer to do. Looking for something in the basement at nine o'clock at night by candlelight takes time. So does making sure all bits of dinner have been washed off of the pots.

Insight #2: Accepting that nightfall signifies the work day is done allows our brain and body to relax. We all felt calmer in the evenings. 

Insight #2b: As a society, we have created a strong dependency on electric lights to the point that we've weakened our ability to 'see' in the dark. If we take the time to allow our eyes to focus and tune into our body's ability to sense objects in our environment, we can manage just fine with minimal light. The problem is we have to move slowly and mindfully to cultivate this skill, which isn't necessarily encouraged in a culture that highly values efficiency.  I think the person who can retrieve an object in the dark with patience and without injuring themselves has performed the job just as good, if not better than someone who flicks on the light and hastily grabs the same object. The first approach requires more awareness and skill than the second. If you were to put the latter person in the dark, you'd could very well have a stumbling, cursing fool who is in need of a first aid kit.

Pro # 3: Candlelight makes everything look better. Everyone and everything looks beautiful in reflecting the yellow-orange glow of candlelight. The element of fire is very primal and sacred. It's amorous and divine...  Yoga classes in my home studio were a definite hit. So was every dinner.

Con # 3: Blowing candles out was a bad idea.  For the first 17 days we had a cloud of smoke permeating our entire house after my husband and I blew out the candles. We'd open windows and fan doors back and forth just to try to dissipate the smoke. We also tried using a candle snuffer, but the same thing happened. It wasn't long before I began to really dislike the smell of candles after had been blown out. A yoga client suggested wetting our fingers or dousing them with a damp cloth. We opted for the damp cloth solution as the number of candles we would have to put out with our fingers would surely entail some pain. The good news is it worked and our house was smoke free for the rest of the experiment.

Insight #3: Even the act of putting out a candle flame should be done with care and not haste, lest the after affects linger longer than necessary. Wind is not the antidote to fire; water is. Remember this when encountering angry people.

Pro # 4: We noticed the sunrise everyday. Becoming dependent on sunlight meant we actually got to observe the sun rising and our bodies were able to wake up gradually instead of abruptly and rudely with the flick of a switch.

Con #4: Getting ready in the dark. For the first couple of days, this proved challenging as we had to adjust our routine and our patience levels, but once we established a new flow, we were able to manage quite well. Nothing and no one caught on fire once. Phew!

Insight #4: With the lights always on in the morning, we realized we were missing out on a very special part of the day. We also appreciated and used the light the sun provided.With electricity, we forget the simple, yet special offering of the sun to us each and every day. That beautiful ball of fire up in the cosmos helps to sustain us in so many ways and without it we would die. It's too bad we're often too busy to take notice of this daily gift. Be sure to thank the sun.

Pro #5a: We used up a massive load of candles sitting in our basement. We inherited these candles from my late mother-in-law, who I knew loved candles, but had no idea she had a stash so big! We ended up with a storage tub filled to the brim with candles– and that was after we sold a ton at last summer's garage sale. We now have a reasonable amount left that will be used within our lifetime. In fact, we may eventually have to buy candles.

Pro #5b: We saved money.  Surely, living without lights and screens in the evening for 34 days will have an impact on our hydro bill.

Pro #5c: We did something good for the planet. We were one less household requiring the typical amount of electricity for 34 days. We'd be silly to think our impact was measurable, but knowing we were using less resources than we had access to is gratifying; especially after visiting parts of Thailand and India where there wasn't enough electricity to go around. 

Con #5: Candles are not practical for the long term. Well, I guess they could be if you used them in smaller quantities, but if we were to continue living by candlelight, oil lanterns would be the way to go. In South India, they burn coconut oil at night.

All in all, I'd say this experiment was a great exercise. As a family, we strengthened our ability to work together as a team. With the kids, there was a decrease in conflicts related to time-sensitive tasks. And this year, Earth Hour was a breeze! I intend to make more of an effort of staying in tune with the natural rhythm of the sun. Although... here I am writing this blog post at 10:30 at night, long after the sun has gone down. Old habits are relentless! I guess the good news is tomorrow brings another opportunity to try again.

The 40-Day Experiment

Lent season is about to begin. Although I choose other means than my Catholic roots for spiritual expression, I find the principle behind Lent to be inspiring and with great potential for personal transformation. For those of you unfamiliar with Lent, it is a 40-day period of personal sacrifice to honour the death and rebirth of Christ.

A few years ago, for the first time in decades, I revisited this holiday after being inspired by one of my yoga students, who told me a tale of how her husband, two children and herself all declared personal sacrifices for the 40 days of Lent and the ways in which each of them was positively affected by their sacrifices. In fact, she told me, what they gained was worth more than the initial sacrifice.

If you know me, I LOVE positive change. So last year, I experimented and privately declared "40 days of Gratitude For My Husband".  Every day, on the wall closest to his side of the bed, I placed a handwritten sticky note of something specific I was grateful for that day as it related to him. Here's what it did: every day it put me on high alert to look for the ways in which my husband brings joy to my life. Once it started, I had to follow through because... you guessed it... by day three he was expecting another sticky note. I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure it inspired my husband to give me something to write about. As we would get ready for bed at night, I would linger until I caught him reading my daily note just so I could watch his reaction. I must say, things that would have normally been taken for granted or go unnoticed by both of us were acknowledged and they clearly transformed the mundane into the extraordinary. When the 40 days were up, my husband looked at me and asked, "Can we make it into '80 days of Gratitude?'" We both laughed, but at the same time recognized the value of this little exercise of giving up time to give a little more appreciation. The other benefit of this experiment was a humbling of the ego, as for both of us awareness was no longer the self but on the other.

The beauty is you don't have to be a Christian to benefit from this exercise. If you are someone who is earnestly trying to become a better human being and to serve humanity, why not give it a go?  What would you be willing to sacrifice for the benefit of self and others? Below are some challenges that may pique your interest or lead to another idea. I'd love to hear what you'll commit to and the results of your 40 day experiment.

1.  Sacrifice violence. That's right... a violence detox. No more violent television shows, movies, video games. No more violent words or actions. This means you'll have to be a little more creative with how you express your anger. Oh... and violent thoughts count too!
2.  A Technology Fast. This can be done in many capacities. No electronics from sun-down to sun-up. It could be for one-hour daily. You make the call and then...unplug. Use the time you gain to act in ways that benefit others: volunteer at your favourite non-profit, help an elderly neighbour, spend quality time with loved ones, etc.
3. Commit to Sit. Give up 15 minutes a day before work or before bed to sit in silence. Meditate. Pray. Reflect on a high virtue like love, peace, unity... or just breathe.
4. Save your change. Skip the coffee and throw the money in a jar. Convince your latte drinking friends to do the same and then at the end of the month have fun pooling your coffee money together to donate to a charity of your choice.
5. Read Between the Lines. Read character building, value-instilling texts. Be curious and investigate several faiths to find what they all have in common.

 This year, I'm going to give up 15 minutes of sleep for an early morning meditation, as well as lights out from sun down to sun up– reminding me there are many places in the world without electricity and that there is value in simplicity. My candles are stocked. I'll let you know how my family responds!

An Open Letter To Mr. Bill Cosby

Dear Mr. Cosby,

Tonight you will be performing in the city where I live, London, Ontario. When your show was first announced, my intention was to purchase tickets as a Christmas gift for my mother.  However, when the stories of your past involvement with sexually assaulting teenage girls surfaced, my heart sank. Sadly, I decided to look for another gift for my mother. The fall of another hero.

Mr. Cosby, I don't think you are a monster. No... to me you are simply a human being who has made some dark choices.

You are the same human being who reinforced good morals and values within me as a child and a developing teenager. I watched every episode of "Fat Albert and The Cosby Kids" growing up and can still recall your face appearing on the television screen just at the right time to point out the dilemma of the day and to emphasize the importance of the impending choices to be made. Mr. Cosby, as a child you reminded me to stop and think, to connect my actions with their impact, and most importantly, to do the right thing– something Fat Albert realized was always easier said than done.

Mr. Cosby, just when I began the tumultuous journey into adolescence, you cast a safety net around me with the launch of "The Cosby Show". As a young, racially-mixed girl growing up in the Canadian border town of Sarnia, your creation was the only positive reflection of African Americans playing over the media airwaves at that time. As I struggled with my racial identity, the Huxtables reminded me there was nothing to struggle with. I didn't have to accept what MTV and the 5 o'clock news was telling me about my skin colour and my destiny. No, the Huxtables held the torch of excellence and high standards for me. They brilliantly managed to transcend race altogether. ...And the Huxtable women! They were strong, intelligent, classy female characters that I aspired to emulate. They gave me another perspective on being a woman and also informed my personal story.

I've always kept my eye on you, Mr. Cosby, to observe all of the good you were doing for the world. Your standards followed you where ever you went, as you refused to speak nothing but proper English, without the vulgarity and crudeness of most stand-up comedians. As an educator, you made me feel proud of my role and the privilege I had to teach the inner city children of Detroit. I was behind you when received backlash from the black community about your unorthodox way of communicating higher standards for black children:

They’re standing on the corner and they can’t speak English.
I can’t even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain’t,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be…
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it’s important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can’t be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.
People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we’ve got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.
$500 sneakers for what?
And they won’t spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2?
Where were you when he was 12?
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn’t know that he had a pistol?
And where is the father? Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn’t that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn’t that a sign of something?
Isn’t it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from??
We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don’t know a thing about Africa …..
I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.
I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don’t have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! !
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ……… And all of them are in jail.
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person’s problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different ‘husbands’ — or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can’t write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard..
We cannot blame the white people any longer.’
~Dr.. William Henry ‘Bill’ Cosby, Jr., Ed..D.

Can I negate the positive influence you have been in my life? Absolutely not. Thank you for sharing your light, your wisdom and higher vision. But it appears, there is some darkness you must also address.  By doing so, you will not undo the good that you have done or will continue to do. Good can come from this, too, Mr. Cosby.

No human being can escape the universal law of cause and effect. The visible effects may not return to the owner in this lifetime, but it doesn't mean the effects are not there. The fact that the effects of your actions have returned to you while you still are alive is a blessing in disguise. You have an opportunity to right a wrong. All actions are witnessed: your consciousness and the consciousness of the now-grown-girls who have spoken have all witnessed the truth. When truths emerge out of darkness to meet, the waves either merge or crash into each other. If the truths merge, a new cause will be created. There will be healing; not just for the girls, but for all victims of sexual assault who have been suffering in silence. There will be healing for you as well, for only one's own suffering can cause him to exploit and harm another human being for his own pleasure. The nature and truth of that suffering will be for you to discover if you wish to turn your circumstances around. Of course, there are consequences to face; a falling out and a disintegration of the Bill Cosby that stands before us today, but on the other side of this disaster is peace for the victims and the emergence of man who has reconciled his wrong doings. 

Please Mr. Cosby, I ask that you do the right thing, despite the difficulties that lie ahead in doing so. Speak the truth. Own it. Walk the fire of consequences and take the journey of a true hero, you can only become a better human being in doing so. Your story is not just about you and these girls. It's about the human race and the multitude of ways we abuse and hurt each other. You have been given a great opportunity to make the biggest impact you will ever make on this earth. Seize it with sincerity and humility. Truth is the only way. 

I wish you all the courage in the world.

Much Peace,
Chantelle Diachina

Wait! We're Just Getting Started!

Euphoric is the word I would describe the state of our city a week ago. I was downtown the day after elections and I couldn't help but notice the glowing faces and upbeat mood I encountered from others everywhere I went. The air was electric and my steps couldn't have been lighter.

One week later, we are all coming down from the high that notable victories are known for, but one thing we must not do is return to business as usual– of course, old habits die hard.

For the majority of us, it's important to remember we've been conditioned to stand back and let the politicians do their job, while we take our spot on the sidelines to kick up our feet and complain. It's easy, it's comfortable and it's what everyone else does, but this time around it won't work.

We've asked for council members that will open their doors to us and now we've got them... a lot of them. We need to show up. Just as our new council will be seeking to answer the question "How can we work together to make our city and her citizens thrive?" we, as citizens, need to collectively seek to answer "How can we work together to make our city, each other and her council thrive?" In enters the art of respectful and supportive language, the wisdom of seeking to understand opposing views and the knowledge from asking questions and doing our homework. It's important to know what is going on in our city, the issues we face as a community and the impactful decisions that need to be made. Let our council to know we're in this together.

If we all make a commitment to be even a little bit more engaged with City Hall, I have a feeling it will transform our city. It could very well make London a model community for other cities to follow. Isn't that an experiment worth conducting?

Here's your first opportunity to engage with your new City Council in a casual and fun setting: http://bit.ly/1tXFlMV I hope to see you there!

When It's Important, You Step Up.

Last weekend was a weekend I will never forget. I will always think of October 3rd & 4th, 2014 as the weekend my grade 10 Canadian history teacher, Mrs. Tremblay, would have been proud of me for the citizenship I displayed. I have to admit, I even surprised myself.

It started on Friday, when I hosted a "Chili & Politics" party and invited neighbours and friends who live in my ward to meet mayoral candiate, Matt Brown and ward councillor candidate, Virginia Ridley.  I've never done anything like this before and quite frankly, I wasn't sure who would come out or what their response would be. A couple of weeks earlier, I had a dream that my neighbour was deeply offended that I invited her and was crying and yelling at me. Yup. I was way out of my comfort zone, but I believe change can really happen with these two, so the risk of offending someone was worth it.

Overwhelmingly, the response was nothing short of amazing. While we had a few late comers from work, I managed to corral 18 people together in the name of politics. The evening was electric. Great questions were asked, faces were lit up and I have to say my mission was accomplished: a room full of believers. The quality of the dialogue that occurred after the candidates left still gives me goosebumps. Of course, we briefly discussed our experiences (or lack there of) with our current ward councillor, Paul Van Meer Bergen, but the real magic came when we began to dream together the ways we'd like to see our neighbourhood evolve. The talk of a ward council came up and it seemed like the most natural and right thing to do. The best part was the way we all looked at each other, like we finally woke up from a very long sleep and saw each other for the first time as neighbours who can work together to shape our community and influence our local government. Imagine that!

Then with Saturday night came another first: speaking at a large campaign event in support of a mayoral candidate. I have never been so political in my life. But... if I can do anything to influence others to support and endorse this opportunity for the positive change our city so desperately needs, then forget about comfort zones– I'm all in. And so I did it. Along with Glean Pearson and Mike Moffat, I took my turn to stand in front of over 600 Londoners in the former Kingsmill's building at Change Fest London and delivered these remarks:

I'm not a politician or an economist. I didn't major in political science.

I was an educator for over a decade. I've worked in the tech industry as a client relations manager. And now, I've joined the ranks as a local social entrepreneur and small business owner. I'm the wife of a police officer and the mother of two lovely daughters. It's because of my daughters that I am here tonight, which I will explain shortly.

I would like to begin with last night, when Matt and his wife, Andrea, were at my house for a "Chili & Politics" party I organized so Matt and the ward councillor I'm supporting could meet my neighbours. There was one particular neighbour that I was concerned about because he enjoys stirring the pot a little– a lot– and is very open about not voting in elections. When Matt arrived, I quickly introduced the two of them and warned Matt, saying "His bark is worse than his bite. Then I ran off because I didn't want to see or hear what would happen next.

I'm happy to say that by the end of our time with Matt, this neighbour not only committed to having a lawn sign on his front yard; he loudly declared "I'm voting for Matt!" He went on to say he was impressed with how approachable and genuine Matt is and that he could tell that he really cares.

And that, my friends, is the power of Matt Brown.

Now back to my daughters and how they are the reason I'm up here. I've set foot in council chambers on more than one occasion and have been appalled at some of the behaviour I witnessed around the horseshoe. As a mother, I've thought, here I am trying to teach my children to be leaders, yet this type of behaviour, which I would never tolerate in my home, is acceptable here??? I want to see civic leaders so good at leading that I feel inspired to bring my children to council chambers so they can observe a humanistic approach to problem solving. I want them to see adults with integrity, transparency and an outstanding capacity for listening and collaboration.

I support Matt Brown because he is one of those leaders.

As someone vested not only in my children, but all of tomorrow's generation–because I will always be a teacher at heart– I need to know our mayor has his eyes beyond his own lifespan and is not afraid to make bold and often difficult moves to help our city evolve in a way that is attractive and functional, yet socially and environmentally conscious.

Also, as the daughter of an aging mother, I need to know she will be able to live in a city that is accessible and age-friendly.

I support Matt Brown because he has that vision.

As a social entrepreneur, I need to have a leader that leaves space for emerging businesses and industries that will undoubtedly change the landscape of our community. I'm talking Gen X- and millennial-run companies that not only want to make a profit, but want to make positive changes in our community and need to be engaged in collaboration, constructively disruptive activities and divergent thinking because we care. And as someone who is a classic Gen X–by the age of 40 already having 3 distinct careers– ours and future generations need an environment and job strategy that supports a demographic that will no longer spend their entire life at one specific job or career and who is just as concerned with quality of living as they are with having an income.

Lastly, we need a leader who sees our city as a reflection of a global community where diversity is not only celebrated, but given an active voice regardless of income level or what side of Adelaide one lives on.

I believe Matt Brown can deliver on all of this and more. And now, so does my neighbour.

Chaos and Calm Go Hand in Hand.

A death in the family. Crazy activity schedule for kids. Immediate and extended family demands that can't always be met. A new business to tend to... this, in a nutshell, is what's been happening in the last month.

Right now, everything is a blur.

Life just keeps happening no matter who you are. And yes, even being the yogi that I am, I still experience moments when I am reduced to a time-starved, high stressed, carb-eating human doing (not being). The truth is, this is the unsustainable part of the human experience in a privileged country.

Once in a while, things get super busy and chaotic. Depending on the nature of it all, it could last a few weeks, a month or a whole year, especially if there has been a major life crisis. The tough part is recognizing when the tornado of activity is over and it's time to readjust how we move through our day.  I see this quite often with people who are unable to lie still in relaxation at the end of a yoga class; they have the time and space to do nothing, but their bodies and minds just keep going.

Currently, slowing down isn't my struggle. Okay, I lie... it is. Only I have a strong desire to slow down, but the timing isn't quite right. I don't enjoy being this busy, but I do recognize this is the particular season of my life at the moment AND... it's a recently new season, so I have to allow myself time to adapt and adjust. Quite frequently throughout the day, I am checking in with my breathing, the amount of tension in my body and my state of mind.  I find minutes of refuge that feel like hours of recharge when I stop to take in a hug from one of my children, when I pause for a minute to sit silently in my backyard, when I sneak in a handstand before returning to my computer after a bathroom break, when my head hits my pillow at a decent bed time at night... No, these aren't prolonged moments of deep contemplation or silence. Nor are they long hikes in the forest or an evening out with girlfriends. These moments are fleeting, but as long as I can pause to appreciate them they still count and they still refuel my tank.  I know eventually they will grow in length and these hurried days will calm down... and then... start up again... and calm down again... This is life.

What I am struggling with is disappointing extended family members at my current lack of availability. There was a time when I was going to university full-time and working three jobs. There just wasn't enough time in the day to spend time with family. That time in my life is over, but this "season" is quite reminiscent of those old days. It's also reminiscent of a few years ago, when our daughters were 3- and 6-years-old and I returned to school full time to study corporate communications and public relations. It was extremely busy, but that time is over... And so too, this time will eventually come to an end. Chaos. Calm. Chaos. Calm.  Life is ever fluctuating and nothing stays the same. To my family... this won't last forever and I have to give myself permission to disappoint you. I know you still love me ;)

I thank the past version of my husband and myself for planning our annual back country canoe & camping trip to Algonquin Park back in May. I can't wait to embed and insulate myself with my family into the refuge of the wilderness. To wash off this last year of city dwelling and get back to being instead of doing– even if it's only for five days I will soak up every moment like it's a year long retreat. You can bet nobody will hear from me at all.

More Than A Dance

This past weekend both of my daughters performed in their end-of-year dance recital at The Grand Theatre. Of course, like all parents, my husband and I were bubbling over with pride as we watched our girls dance on stage, admiring how confident they are becoming. What's interesting is every year I have this overwhelming feeling of my heart opening up and spilling everywhere as I watch dance act, after dance act hit the stage. What is it about watching these young people dance on stage that makes me want to sob? I asked myself as I watched the sequins and ruffles twirl across the stage. My Truth answered.

On that stage is innocence wrapped in joy, the way the human spirit is meant to show up in the world.  These beautiful children on stage are knocking on a door to something that is locked deep within us: cooperation, collaboration, shared vision. With every synchronized movement they remind us of how much we human beings thrive in harmony. Even the dancer who struggles to keep up is still working in collaboration with the rest of the group and that's why the performance never falls apart. In harmony there is bravery, beauty and focus. When I see this in action on the stage, it makes me long for humanity to "just get along". It gives me hope that we can get it right. It's a complicated dance, but with practice, anything is possible.

It seems when we lost our tribes and clans, we also lost our harmony. Materialism has inhibited our ability to create visions for the higher and greater good, which makes hearing one song difficult, let alone attempting to dance together. Without a big, single vision and without taking the time to learn how to dance together, we end up looking like a bunch of drunken college kids dancing at a bar. It seems like fun in the moment, but its not taking us any where constructive and the morning after always hurts. All we can do is start from where we are: find a song to dance to that elevates our lives and the lives of others and never take our attention off of that tune. Make up our dance, practice and persevere, but whatever we do, we mustn't stop dancing. We need to build our strength, endurance and confidence so when our dance is complete, we can show our families, our friends, our neighbours, our community; bringing harmony where ever we go through love, compassion, patience and understanding.

I guess a dance isn't just a dance. Hopefully I won't embarrass my children by sobbing at next year's recital.

Reflection on Year One of Entrepreneurship (Part 2)

What was I talking about??? What was I about to do??? Where did I put my keys???

Yes... Part 2 of Year One of Entrepreneurship is about the side effects of becoming an entrepreneur.

Mommy Brain is Back.

For the women out there who have experienced "mommy brain",  you will have some experience with scatterbrainitis that entrepreneurs tend to suffer from. Not only does one have more to think about, but each item to think about carries a greater weight of responsibility, which creates internal pressure not to forget anything, which in fact, results in the exact opposite– you forget everything. No longer can I judge business people who appear to be disorganized. Rather, I now appreciate all of the details that need to be attended to and the inexhaustible to-do list floating around in their mental space. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. Enter my mantra: "It will all get done... It will all get done... It will all get done..." which means, some things may not be done in timely matter as it may have been done in the past (ex. responding to emails, blogging, tweeting, etc.) but it doesn't mean I don't care. There's just not enough of me to go around.

I've come to accept a level of disorganization as part of being a business owner, but I've also learned the art of delegation. I simply cannot do everything. Time to start outsourcing. Enter the housecleaning crew, a part-time assistant, more team members and a little more room to breathe.

Look at my little cutie patootie... Awww... do you want your baba?

It's a strange phenomenon that happens to new parents... the tone of their voice changes and they begin speaking infantese. Ever met a business owner who only talks business?  I've caught myself several times. I think need to start reading tabloids.


Is their a multi-vitamin for time deficiency?

Just like having a new born, I am living for the survival and well-being of my neophyte business. When I'm not being a mother and wife, every available minute is unconditionally offered to my new business and just like when I brought my babies home, taking care of my own needs is hit and miss, but I know better than to let it go completely. I have maintained a sporadic 5:00am yoga practice. I take naps. I go to bed at before 11:00pm (most nights). I've been seeing my massage therapist... but I miss my play time.  I need some silliness and good belly laughs. I need to spend more time with friends and extended family. I need to be soaking up some fresh vitamin D and enjoying the outdoors– lately it's just been too cold for my tropically mixed blood. Hurry up warm weather!!!

It will all get done... It will all get done... It will all get done...

Sure it everything takes more effort, but what you end up with is a strong and healthy priority system because your time really is a precious and limited commodity. And just like parenting, being an entrepreneur is the most challenging and rewarding role one can have. I'm also setting out to defy the odds, to create a new model of healthy and well-thy entrepreneurship... please excuse me while I take a moment to "just breathe".

Reflection on Year One of Entrepreneurship (Part 1)

ACHOOOO!!! *SNIFF*  Woah... I guess that's what happens when you blow the dust off a blog you haven't posted to in several months! I can't say I've ever taken this long of a hiatus from writing before. The truth is after I returned from India in January, my relatively new life as an entrepreneur welcomed me back with such vigour that I've had great difficulty finding the time to write... but, I'm back!

I think it would be most fitting for my first post of 2014 be about my first year as an entrepreneur, where the first nine months saw zero income.

So what did I do during that time?

I dreamed, imagined and dreamed some more.
For days I wrote and rewrote my mission and vision statements, scribbled business models on my whiteboard, and dressed and undressed it all in various styles of branding.
I hashed my ideas out with a graphic designer and web developer.
I met with marketing gurus.
I sought the advice of lawyers, accountants, bookkeepers and bankers.
I identified mentors and picked the brains of wise business leaders.
I attended leadership for social change workshops.

For weeks I experimented and played with all of the stress management tools I've experienced success with.
I researched and collected data on the damage stress is creating in our lives and spoke with various professionals trying to do something about it.
I sat in on conversations about stress in the workplace and discovered who the key players are.
I familiarized myself with standards and policies around mental wellness in the workplace.

For months I met people and met people and... met... people.
I listened. I observed. I asked questions and I shared my vision.
I found my supporters and surrounded myself with like minded individuals.

I stretched and kept stretching until I was completely out of my comfort zone.
 
For fleeting moments I doubted and second guessed... and yes, I got scared.
I was reaffirmed by my conviction and the people who believed in me.
I found the courage to continue moving forward.

The vision and mission evolved and branding was nailed.
Passionate and talented yoga teachers appeared. They believed in my vision and wanted to be part of its mission. I was humbled and scared (again) because it was already growing bigger than I had anticipated. I was and still am obsessed, grateful, amazed with this new venture.

By early fall, the big red velvet curtains on the stage were were the only thing separating my dream from becoming reality– I could hear people taking their seats before the show began and it made me nervous. In October, the curtains were drawn open and Prana was launched. Clients showed up and we started doing what we originally set out to do: shift peoples lives.

I can't express the how gratifying it is to watch something go from thoughts in your head to a team of teachers and a growing list of clients. It's unbelievable how much growth I've undergone while going through this entire process.

This past year, I've been able to test and prove the yogic ideals of becoming comfortable with not having all the answers and having faith that all problems have a solution, providing you look for the solution and not become distracted by the problem.

I've experienced the truth of our interconnectedness, that you cannot make a business happen by yourself:
You get business by doing business.
If you care for the success of your community, your community will care for the success of you.
If your vision is big enough, it will attract the right people to bring it to life.

And it seems the more symbiotic relationships a business creates, the more the business organically grows.

I LOVE the quality of life it has given me. As much as my previous employer, rtraction, was flexible and more than accommodating, I always felt I was costing someone else money and inconvenience if I wholeheartedly put my family first. That internal tension is now gone.

If my kids need me, without hesitation, I am there and I can give them my full attention.
More often than not, we eat healthy, home cooked meals.
Our house feels lived in.
I have more to give to myself, which means I have more to give to my husband and children.
I am available for my mother if she gets sick.
I have a decent bed time.
I can control the flow of work, appreciating that there will be high periods of busy-ness, but the rest of the time my workload is reasonable.

My team members tell me they are grateful to be able to have such an in-depth, positive impact on people and they enjoy the sense of community we're creating within our team. They appreciate how they are able determine how many hours they can dedicate to Prana and it's always adjustable to accommodate their ever changing life.

Our clients are sharing their success stories and value the services we offer. In such a short time, it seems we are indeed making a positive shift in the lives of people.

This last year will be unforgettable as I witnessed a dream turn into thoughts on a paper and grow into something real as I watered it with action. To me, being an entrepreneur means being able hear your heart beating so loudly that it moves other people.

Namaste.

India Bound

My bags are packed and all of the necessary arrangements have been made to ensure the life I will be stepping away from temporarily will run as smoothly as possible. In two days I leave for India... by myself. The only travel companion I will have will be Gandhi... well, more like his autobiography that I plan on finishing over the 22 hour flight.

I have to admit, until a few days ago I was extremely excited and confident about going, but as my departure date draws nearer, the reality of being so far away from my husband and children is beginning to sink in. I've been hugging them tighter and longer, while catching myself choking back tears at the thought of going. My relief is found in knowing they will be joining me three weeks after I leave– and what a reunion that will be! I also have concerns about my mother, who isn't quite comfortable yet living in a city where I am her only connection. How will she fair? But this is life and this is being human– it means I love and I am loved.

I also know that this will be a life changing experience. I am not going to be the same person when I return back to Canada. Three weeks of ashram, monastic life will be enlightening, challenging, rewarding and frightening. I've done it before during my first yoga teacher training, but that was in Florida; although it still took me six weeks to fully reintegrate into daily life when I returned home and I wasn't even in India! To be so close to the source of yoga while studying and experiencing it will be a game changer for sure.

Once those three weeks are over and my family joins me, the four of us will be touring around south India for another three weeks. We hope you join us on this Indian adventure by following our blog: diachinatravels.wordpress.com I will be posting every chance I get from the moment I leave, although I'm not sure how much access to the internet I will have while in the ashram.

As a result of this great expedition, there will be no post at Never Water A Weed for the month of December. In the meantime, I hope you have a joyful, loving holiday season. Please stay close to the Christmas Spirit.

Much Love & Peace,
Chantelle

Inspiration is Just Around the Corner

She's been walking by our house for more than a month now, but today we are ecstatic for her.

"MOM!!! COME LOOK!!! SHE'S WALKING ALL BY HERSELF!!!"

 I know exactly whom my daughters are referring to. I run into our dining room and stand behind my girls, who have their noses pressed up against the window. There she is... walking slowly on the sidewalk across the street. I'm sure she's still in pain, but she is free and clear. Nothing supporting her except for her husband, who has been by her side for every walk and is now walking a good three feet in front of her.

Before August, we had never seen this woman before. She kind of showed up out of the blue one day with a walker and some bandages wrapped around her right leg. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail and the lines on her middle-aged face showed she wasn't at all enthusiastic about going for a walk, but her husband was there, walking just a slow as she, helping her through the pain. When they made it to the front of our house, they paused and pointed with smiles on their faces. Maybe they were admiring our renovations or perhaps there was a side show being performed the local squirrels; for whatever reason she noticed us and we noticed her and that's when her story began to unfold for us.

For weeks they walked by our house, each time we noted her progress and became more and more excited for her. We didn't have to know what the details of her story were. We saw her struggle, her determination, her progress and we were inspired. Over time we witnessed the walker turn into a cane and the cane turn into her husband. Then the day came when we saw she no longer had to walk arm in arm with her husband. We couldn't help but cheer. We were just so happy for her!

Our victory cheer had to come to an end by the necessity of having to leave for gymnastics. The girls and I piled into our car and backed out of the driveway. As we approached this special woman and her husband, I slowed down to a pause and rolled down the window.

"Excuse me!" I shouted. "I just wanted to let you know that my girls and I have been watching you walk by our house week after week and we are so proud of your progress. You have really been inspiring to us. We're big fans!"

Her face lit up. She brought her hand to her chest. "REALLY??? OH! THANK YOU!"

All the while, her husband proudly looked on with a smile on his face. They continued on their way and we continued on ours.

 Yes, she has inspired me. Actually, both her and her husband have inspired me. He made her healing journey his journey as well, but clearly it was her pain. She had to challenge it and persevere while holding a vision of healing... and she succeeded. We couldn't imagine her walking by herself. In fact, it would seem foolish. Clearly, challenges seem smaller when we have someone who cares by our side. She showed my girls the value of never giving up, no matter how difficult it may seem and the true meaning of victory. She also taught us that we just never know how overcoming our own obstacles can inspire others who are watching.

5 Tips on Surviving the Marathons of Life

For some people it may seem their whole life is a marathon; one crisis after another. Others may go for a few years or a whole decade before a major crisis hits. One thing is for sure, no one experiences their entire life as a walk in the park.

We never sign up for these periods of chaos and upset in our lives, but they are inevitable. Unlike a marathon you voluntarily sign up for, there is no telling where the course will end or how far out the finish line is for a marathon of life.

2013 is turning out to be a run of uncertainty for most of my immediate family. Sometimes our courses overlap and other times we're completely on our own as various crises show up– all of which are here to teach and help us grow, but it's not always easy to remember the higher purpose of these moments.

I still manage to have a smile on my face (at least a couple times throughout the day!) and my feet keep moving, so I must be doing something right. Here's what has been working for me; hopefully you will find these tips helpful for you as well:

Tip #1: Drink LOTS of alcohol. NOT!!! Although I did have one too many glasses of wine with a girlfriend one evening. We laughed, we cried... and it was less expensive than seeing a psychologist. (See #5)

Okay... here is what I REALLY recommend: 

#1 Stay alert.  Don't close your eyes and moan and groan. When you close your eyes you miss the reasons to be happy and they are always reasons to be happy. It may be as simple as feeling the warmth of the sun on your face or a friendly hello from a stranger or the fact that you have food in your belly... those little "gifts" are like little packets of energy that will keep you going when you feel like your legs are about to give out.

#2 Bend but don't break.  Even though you may have a plan or a vision of how things are going to turn out, you have to be humble enough to accept that you don't have all of the answers. It may even mean throwing out your plan and learning as you go.

#3 Rest. Make time to get to bed at a decent time so you can get a good night's sleep. Sometimes sleep just isn't happening, in which case, Ujayi breath is a great remedy. Take naps if you can. Schedule quiet time when you can be alone and do absolutely nothing. Lie down and just be.

#4 Keep your sense of humour.  Sometimes this may require an "out of body experience"– you know... watching the situation unfold from an outsider's perspective. I've had many moments where the absurdity of the situation would have made for great sitcom material.  It's not always fun being the character, but it's funny to watch. If that isn't working for you, go watch a funny movie instead. A good belly laugh with friends will also do you some good.

#5 Get help. This time around, I decided to see a psychologist to help me keep a sense of clarity. I find talking to someone who doesn't know me or any of the people in my life is safe. She can challenge me, affirm valid feelings and provide a fresh perspective. She also draws great diagrams to explain things. I think I have a girl crush... 

Help can also come from people you know who have been through similar situations and are willing to share their wisdom. This is a primal instinct when you think about it. When we lived in tribes and clans we used to have a whole village to lean on. It takes a little more effort in modern times, but crisis can remind us of our connection to others and the common struggles we all share.

 And when all else fails... breathe.

A Change of Fate.

Do you believe in fate? I do, but probably not in the way you may think. I believe every single human life has an infinite number of possible destinies (or in more practical terms, "possible outcomes") existing in any given moment. Who we are within determines which life story we are most aligned with and will therefore experience. In other words, as long as we continue to change within, the life we will experience externally will also change. I will be turning 40 this year, yet I feel I've had many lives within those years. As I continue to change, each 'life' keeps getting better.  This is why I believe our destiny is not in the stars, but in our hands. 

Once we make a shift within and become the person that deserves a non-toxic relationship, a better job, a healthier lifestyle, etc., it will take some time before our external life can catch up and we see the results we've been waiting for. That's because the crystallized shift within will be meeting the resistance of the life we currently live. It's a storyline based on who we were before the shift, so please don't get discouraged by the mismatch.

 When your external world does start to finally shift, things are going to fall apart or rather, "disassemble" for a while so your life can rearrange. (Wink. This is experience talking) You might become sick, your marriage may fall apart, your friends may disappear... the ways life can become messy are truly endless. As painful as this process is, see it as a sign of progress– as your story (or your fate) being revised and rewritten. Try not to rush it. There is so much to learn as you navigate your way through all of the discomfort while wearing a big ol' blindfold. Instead, be still. Don't make any big movements. Grow wiser and stronger. Resist the urge to turn around and seek the comfort and familiarity of your old life. All kinds of excuses will entice you to go back to the way things were and if you succumb, the whole process will shut down and chronic internal suffering (a.k.a. Hell) will be all that you gain. Is that how you really want to live?

The final stage is redemption. All that you have waited for has arrived. No... it's more like you have arrived to all that has always been waiting for you.
Namaste.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

photo credit: stock.xchng

Maya Angelou once wrote an autobiography by the same title– a fascinating book that you should read if you haven't already, but that isn't what inspired this post.

No, it was reading the following words from Buddhist monk, Nichiren Daishonin:

"When a caged bird sings, birds who are flying in the sky are thereby summoned and gather around, and when the birds flying in the sky gather around, the bird in the cage strives to get out."

It is the amount of truth in this metaphor that renders its power. The "truth" being that if we can just stay close to our true nature, if we can continue to uplift others and create beauty despite our own suffering or limitations, our courage will be inspired and strengthened so we may break free and improve our own life circumstances.

And even when we are not aware of our substandard life– because a cage may be all we've ever known– if we continue to strive to add value to the world around us, new possibilities will come into view. They will inspire and motivate us to stretch beyond our current way of being, until one day we have found a way out of our cage... out of our small lives... allowing us to experience a freedom we've never known before, turning our ignorance into a spectacle for us to observe.

And the ones who are free... they are bound to the ones who are not. The joy they feel as their wings spread and carry them to new lands is never taken for granted. It is something they cannot withhold from others. All they need is to hear a song from a cage.

Your Mother is Your First Guru

Those are words I will never forget. I first heard them in 2007, while studying under Shri Yogi Hari. As a fairly new mother of two children, it was like music to my ears, but what struck me most was I had a new perspective on my mother. In the past, I had focused all of the things she didn't "know" and the challenges I faced with my mother throughout my teen and early adult years.  In what ways was my mother my wise, spiritual teacher?

Truthfully, she really didn't talk too much about "God" to me, in part because her 1950's strict Catholic education left a bad taste in her mouth. Although I did once convince her and my dad to take me to a Baptist church for a couple of years, but the "no dancing" rule and general hypocrisy of fellow churchgoers became a turn off and we stopped.

No, my spiritual journey was self directed... or was it?

My mother taught me a lot explicitly:

No matter what you accomplish, you are never better than anyone.
Share.
Be helpful to the elderly.
Education first. Boys later.
It's okay to fail, as long as you did your best. 
Read.
Always better yourself.
Try different things. 
Don't listen to what the other kids say. You be your own person.

But as I deeply reflect back on my childhood years, I think her best teachings came through her Being:

My mother was slow to anger.
She was patient. It always amazed me how she could wait in the longest line up and never become restless. EVER.
She was playful and often joked around with me.
She taught me it was okay to cry. "Get it all out"  she would say to me in moments of distress.
She loved me well. Cuddles. Hugs. Kisses. She would always say to me "I love you more than life itself." As a grown woman, I can say,  I believe her. 

It has been decades since I've been able to be with my mother for Mother's Day because of her strict work schedule, but today I will be able to honour my first guru, as you do the same for yours.

Happy Mother's Day.

Boston. Peace.

Photo courtesy of intent.com

Each and every day and night
I so praise the lot of human beings–
when they direct their mind eternally to good,
they are eternally beautiful and majestic.

-Goethe, "Dornburg, September 1828"



There are more good human beings in the world than bad.
I will not be fearful of my brothers and sisters. Ever.
I will not become cynical or desensitized to violence. Ever.
I will cry when other humans suffer and when we create such evil works.
As long as I cry, I know my hunger for peace will grow stronger
and my life will be full of purpose.
I keep my gaze on the space between these acts of violence
because this is where our Truth as human beings lie.
I see what Goethe sees. Always.

Have a Little Faith

When you have faith, the sun is always shining.

Faith is more than "believing" in something.  It is confidence and trust mixed together. To thrive in life, we have to know we are competent and know we will follow through without fail, even if it means overcoming obstacles. We make things difficult for ourselves when we become unsure of what our strengths are and/or we neglect to hold ourselves accountable for our lack of determination. Sometimes we put too much faith in others and not enough in ourselves. A lot of the time, we lack faith in the mysteries of life; the mysteries that bring the right person, the right circumstance, the right everything so you may thrive.

The culprit of lacking faith has to do with "the plan". Having a plan isn't a bad thing, just don't develop tunnel vision around it. Like a yogi on the mat, or a ship set to sea, you have to be prepared to adapt, adjust and modify as situations arise. Some situations may slow you down, others may expose you to new and unexpected experiences. At those times when you feel lost and fear begins to set in, go to your safe place where you can release your emotions and then emerge full of faith; with confidence and trust that you AND the mysteries of life are both competent and will follow through without fail. Even if it means overcoming obstacles. 

A Shout Out to rtraction

It's been almost a month since I've left rtraction, but I feel like I've never left. I'm still gleaning the gems from working at such a dynamic organization, which is why I want to say...

Thank you rtraction
For being big on ideas
and not shying away when ideas are big
For making play just as important as work
(and making shoes optional)
For showing me that anything is possible
when you have the right people with the same vision
and that failure is okay (to a point) ...just don't give up
That social media really is social (you can't fake it)
That leadership doesn't have to be hierarchal
and organizations can give beyond a dollar amount
That each employee matters and to play to her strengths
For demonstrating the importance of adapting and adapting again
For exposing me to the unforgiving pressure of D E A D L I N E S
and to the genius of Seth Godin
To have one foot in boldness and the other in humility.
Thank you for reminding me to stay true to your craft.

Thank you rtraction
for all of this and more.